I do so wish.....
that Fauntleroy would post that story he's already had on here 4 times just once more, it could be funny this time round. It's been ages since it came up on here, he has been quiet.

Ooh, heavens, d'you think he's dead?
(tinypod will never learn. Ever., Thu 6 Mar 2008, 7:21, 5 replies)

If so..
...can I poke the body with a stick?
( Fireflier La la la la, not listening on, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 9:32, closed)

ah go on then, gets funnier with each read, love you loads
It was the first time and the last time
I haven't seen a dead body but your mothers may as well have been dead, she lay there lifeless as I pounded my meat into her, didn't even make a noise, her glassy eyes staring at the ceiling, maybe it was the rohypnol, maybe it was the smack, all I know is that she was begging for it, the dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty bitch.

.....the haziness of that evening is now coming back to me, your mother may well have been dead as i pounded my meat truncheon into her time and again, my large heavy gonads thwapping against her undercarriage.......

....she had approached me in a bar earlier that evening, 'Do I know you' she said, 'Not as well as you will know me later on' I replied with a nonchalant smile and flick of my hair. Her perfume was intoxicating, and her ruby red lips glistened under the spotlights shining on the bar. I offered to get her a drink, which she readily accepted. We chatted about many things, it turned out we were from the same town and had been to the same school, all-be-it I had been a few years her junior. We also skirted around the topic of under performing schools and Maslow's hierarchy of needs. I told her how i once had shat myself after straining so hard to do a fart that my cheeks went beetroot red.
We continued on and had many more drinks and were eventually asked to leave by the bar staff after they closed up. We stumbled outside, and upon hitting the fresh air I hailed her a taxi and sent her on her way home, sometimes i still remember that night with fond memories, the carousel, the big wheel, candy floss by the bonfire, with the guy alight atop. the sweet smell of chestnuts roasting and the laughter of children as they danced and skipped around the motionless crowd, watching the fireworks as they made the most beautiful colours and displays in the night sky. The food was particularly good as well, pumpkins and furry eggs washed down with a sweet golden warm glass full of urine.....

......I waited for her on the subway but she did not come, I waited for her at the station, and still she did not appear. Then suddenly, every little piece of my heart tied up in knots and I was in heaven. The message that was transpiring through the precipitation was more and more lucid as the haziness lifted and the sunshine spilt over the edge and illuminated the bonjela tube balanced precariously.....

.....her body was cold by the time I finished pounding and emptied my seed into her, I withdrew and told her I loved her. She didnt reply, I thought she would prefer it if I left. I stroked her hair, which fell off her head in large clumps such was the ferocity of my lovemaking and kissed her cheek bidding her farewell. I knew this would be the last time we would see each other, yet she hid her emotion well, like a corpse hiding any signs of life. I walked to the door, turned round and shouted over at her 'Jusqu'à ce que nous rencontrons encore, mon bien-aimé chéri, pouvoir notre amour notre toujours bond sur les océans et est tombé des arbres. '

The End
(little lord muthafuckin fauntleroy, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 10:01, closed)

Finally..
in that context it was actually quite witty. Still drivel though, and I bet your thanking the Good Lord for cut and paste .Love you too.
(tinypod will never learn. Ever., Thu 6 Mar 2008, 10:08, closed)

...nope...
still the insane ramblings of someone who's deluded himself into thinking that he's funny.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 10:08, closed)

excusez moi?
now to be fair, i never tried to promote myself as funny. I may ramble an awful lot, but i am most certainly not deluded, definitely not and you can't convince me otherwise said the rabbit to the dodo
(little lord muthafuckin fauntleroy, Thu 6 Mar 2008, 10:15, closed)