Working in a pub
Before I started Uni, I decided to do a summer job for beer tokens, and as I was an experienced man when it came to the emptying of a pint glass, I thought I would see how I did at filling them up. And it seemed I did rather well.

The bar I worked in was part of a leisure complex (owned by a company that rhymes with "Shaven") and as I was poor and wanted more money, I worked long day shifts from 11am going on until 1 or 2 am when the main bar closed.

During this time I became friends with one of the lifeguards from the nearby swimming pool - let's call him Steve (for 'twas his name). Steve was 18, blonde and like me waiting for the first year at uni. He was also in the county swimming team and drop. dead. gorgeous. Yes, I had a complete crush on him. Anyhoo, he would always come into the bar for his break, and we'd have a chat and grab some food. We became really close mates. We used to go swimming together on our days off and so on and so forth...

Steve and I had our last day of work at the park on the same day. We finished at 5pm and proceeded to get absolutely shiftaced. It's like getting shitfaced but you are so drunk you cannot even spell in your head properly. At about 11ish, Steve looks at me and says "Carrot, there's something I want to tell you. I'm gay and I've fancied you from the first day I met you. I'm sorry if you aren't gay or I've offended you, but if you want you could come back to my place for a couple more drinks."

And he kisses me.

And I freak out.

And run away.

Excuse me, I'm just off to cram my fist into my mouth, rock backwards and forwards and whimper at my own entire stupidity. Never saw him again.

Length? Well it was quite impressive in his trunks...
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Fri 24 Sep 2010, 16:27, 2 replies)

Yep
I've pulled that trick before.

My sympathies!
(Galve, Son of Galve, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 16:53, closed)

gah!
noooooooooooooo!
(imallamallama looking forward to llamageddon on, Sat 25 Sep 2010, 0:46, closed)