Bondi, Sydney, Christmas Day
I'd been in Sydney a couple of months and since I'd discovered that the travelling companion I'd set out with was a complete tool outside of the office environment where we'd previously both worked back in the UK, I was on my own and feeling a bit down. That was when I met Nadine, a lovely Irish lass who was temping at the same company where I'd landed a temp job. Nadine listened to my tale of woe about the wanker I'd set out travelling with and invited me out for a drink with her and her mates.

Nadine had a great set of friends who overlooked my blatant Englishness and adopted me as one of their own. Many great nights out were had and my liver took a terrible caning keeping up. Nadine had a Kiwi boyfriend but told me one night in the pub that he wasn't the one she was going to marry and she flirted with me and I flirted back.

Christmas was approaching and she invited me over to her flat in Bondi as everyone was going down to the beach for a barbecue. Kiwi boyfriend had gone home for Crimbo to see the folks. I turns up at the flat and she's getting ready to go down to the beach. She disappears into her room and comes out in her bikini briefs, clutching a towel over her fairly impressive chest with one hand and a bottle of factor 10 in the other.

"Will you do my back?" she asks. This petite,green-eyed, raven-haired vision turns round exposing a flawless olive-skinned back, christ, she's even got those cute little dimples either side of her spine just above her gorgeous bikini-clad arse.

"Sure," says I, taking the bottle, squirting lotion onto my palm and then rubbing them together to take the cold edge off. I set to work on that flawless back.

I'm massaging away and Nadine is making mmmmmm noises and leaning back against me. I'm gazing over her shoulder into the depths of the most beautiful cleavage I've ever seen. As my hands are moving over her skin the towel she's holding is slipping slowly down the burnished slopes of her beautiful bosom. Dark semi-circles appear as the towel slips lower. My genitals go from DEFCON 4 to DEFCON 2.

"You're really good, I bet you get asked to give massages all the time," she purrs.

My brain whirs, groping blindly for an appropriate response.

"Er, not really. Shouldn't we be heading down to the beach? We won't get a good spot if we don't"

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!! Stupid, STUPID twat!!

I wouldn't mind but about a month later but she got tipsy in a nightclub and said I'd escort her back to her flat. In the cab she said I could take her back to my place. Her boyfriend was back from Kiwiland so I chivalrously delivered her back to her place.

God I'm such a fucking idiot.
(Dildo Bugger destroyed a ring on, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 19:57, 5 replies)

And youre moaning about how your travelling companion was a complete tool!
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 20:18, closed)

It was his first time abroad, first holiday without mummy, on the stopover in Thailand he'd refuse to pay for anything letting me do all the transactions for him as I know all the numbers in Thai saying he'd settle up at the end of the day and continually shortchanging me, he didn't know how to cook anything more complex than baked beans and, aargghhhh, so many other things my blood pressure is rising just remembering the smug-faced cunt.

But yes, with Nadine I was a tool.
(Dildo Bugger destroyed a ring on, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 20:37, closed)

Nah, you dont want to stir another mans porridge anayway
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 20:57, closed)

Same thing, with an Estonian girl, in Denmark, July 2001.
"I don't want to ruin the friendship".

Fuck.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 24 Sep 2010, 20:23, closed)

I concur
You are a fucking idiot.
( His Popiness the Hole Invaded Poland on, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 23:44, closed)