Payperwank porn
I'm facinated by the psychology behind this. Recently, in a hotel in Amsterdam, through extensive research, there would appear to be the following formula:

- Welcome to Payperview TV!!!!! Tissues at ready!!
- Give a reasonable amount of time free, say 5mins, no build up, just on with the old in out.
- Suddenly obscure vision and sound with ceefax style grafix..eeriely quiet huh?
- On surfing away from and back to PPV TV channel, re-reveal porn *just to remind lazy-lobbed and rapidly detumescing guests what they're missing
- After a much shorter time, suddenly obscure vision with ceefax style grafix again.
- Repeat, iteratively, until max one 1 individual frame/nanosecond of porn is visible between surf flix before obscuring...

It is now impossible to conjure images sufficiently quickly and masturbate simultaneously.

You must now delve into your delible recent memory lest you spill your seed to ENTER YOUR ROOM NUMBER XXX CONFIRM.

Did someone make this m.o. up? Was it Mary Whitehouse's last revenge?
And don't get me started on the 'camouflage' movies they also have as ppv so that you can claim to work that you were bored and it was 'better than sitting on my own in a pub all night, and cheaper for you too'

In my early twenties, I spent six weeks on my own in northern Sweden, at a place I can't spell without googling.

Apart from a Finnish hen party that decided to share the hotel's jacuzzi with me (thank fuck for bubbles), ppv was my only respite.

Imagine my joy, then, in week two (yes I know, rsi for 10 fucking days), that a particular combination and speed (think 'track and field') would jam their 'naughty naughtyometer' and give free porn all night.

But my dismay that they only changed the films once a week... I don't remember any of the films names, the decor, or the pool boy's car registrations.
(Countryslicker, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 16:15, 4 replies)

Track n Field
retro keyboard killer!

Preferred Daley T's tho.
(jmaxi returned again on, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 16:17, closed)

Prolly missed the point, but...
... nice use of the word "iteratively". Tempted to click for that alone.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 16:22, closed)

jmaxi..
Daley Thompsons super test! classic! i had that on the Spectrum +3, which i was really smug about having because it wasnt a cassatte loader.
(CaptainFellatioNelson is trying to kill me, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 16:49, closed)

You know that entering your room number
is there so you can be billed for it, right? You seem to think it has something to do with censorship.

Oh and by the way;

Hypersports!
(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 18:01, closed)