I'm home, safe and clean now...the experience is 'behind me' as it were.
I've wanted to reply since I left work but when I got home my t'interweb was knacked (That's bleedin' Virgin Media For you...talk about dumb things!)...it's only just back up and I've seen the replies....lordy!

So thanks to you all for laughing at my misery so far...It genuinely has made me feel better about the incident.

Here's what happpened after...

It appears that there is a god after all...I did indeed start using the old 'stomach cramps and over-acted groaning' as recommended by you good people, but we were all allowed to leave early anyway. RESULT!

If only any of you folk (or indeed myself) could have seen my face when the personnel manager and my boss came up to give me a 'Christmas kiss'...oooh dear god I was bright red...they probably think I fancy them...if only they knew...

Trying to keep my back to the wall (or at least out of the view of everybody) I scuttle off and to this moment I don't know if I got away with it...I suppose I'll find out when I go back in January...

The drive home wasn't pleasant...nor was explaining what had happened to the present Mrs Pooflake...'For fuck's sake, man, you're supposed to be an adult' was what she said as I threw every thread of clothing into the washing machine and stood there 'tackle-out', checking my body for stainage.

She also wasn't too happy about the fact that the first thing I decided to do after pappering my grundies was to post about it on B3ta. Ah well. The world has a right to know what's going on in my grot department.

And to BGB...the reason I didn't think to pull my pants down was because in my 'relaxed' state, I had forgotten I had pulled them up...Yes, I really am that mong-tastically stupid. I even lifted a bum-cheek beforehand and as the inevitable started to happen, I had a milisecond of panic before it was too late...I think the last thing that went through my head before blast off was:

'It's gone too far now, I hope this is just a fart'

As you now know and as is so often the case with me...I was wrong. Again.

After getting home, receiving my well deserved bollocking and having a thorough shower...I did a half-arsed job of warming up another pasty and chowed it down...

Some people just never learn...


*Burble, bloop etc*

and happy Christmas
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Sat 22 Dec 2007, 13:09, Reply)