Man mistakes peacock for vampire, beats it to death, goes on crime spree.
I just found this quite fitting article by accident whilst trying to ascertain whether another quite fitting story, from QI and featuring a man who shat into his own hood in space, was true or not.

www.silive.com/news/advance/index.ssf?/base/news/118337765847290.xml&coll=1
(clumsyeloquence is a girl, Sat 29 Dec 2007, 23:06, 14 replies)

yeah but
all peacocks are bastards.
( rofl harris, Sat 29 Dec 2007, 23:14, closed)

Is
it true then?
(Evilweevil is covered in bees, Sat 29 Dec 2007, 23:17, closed)

I cannot find anything to suggest that it is true
You'd think that it would have been reported if so, so I am reluctantly assuming that it is not.
(clumsyeloquence is a girl, Sat 29 Dec 2007, 23:40, closed)

erm
it wasn't in space, it was on a rope above glacier in a blizzard or something, dunno why they said in space, like Brian Blessed would go to space...

also space hoods? and the technicality of opening your space suit to poo without dying
(sailorspoon started wiping his own arse from, Sun 30 Dec 2007, 0:13, closed)

sailorspoon
I did wonder somewhat about the details. I just assumed it was complete bollocks, though.
(clumsyeloquence is a girl, Sun 30 Dec 2007, 0:21, closed)

you never know
it might have happened, I think he has wrote books about climbing Everest, maybe they contain evidence of the poo flying into the hood
(sailorspoon started wiping his own arse from, Sun 30 Dec 2007, 0:25, closed)

Hang on
How do you know it happened to Brian Blessed?
(clumsyeloquence is a girl, Sun 30 Dec 2007, 0:28, closed)

it didn't happen to him exactly, he was present
they were talking about brian blessed and then jo brand said about him telling the story which had happened on one of his Everest attempts
(sailorspoon started wiping his own arse from, Sun 30 Dec 2007, 0:50, closed)

Clearly
I was not paying enough attention.

Sorry, Stephen Fry.
(clumsyeloquence is a girl, Sun 30 Dec 2007, 1:15, closed)

You can't rely on the interwebs for all information.
For the evil pranks QOTW, I was looking for a story of a groom who was killed on his stag do by being tied to the roof of a car, then taken through a car wash.

I remember it being widely reported on the news and in the papers at the time. So couldn't understand why the story was not to be found on the net.

It then occurred to me that it was in the early 80's, the net didn't exist then in the form it does now, and not all human knowledge can be garnered from it.

So maybe the story you seek is somewhere on, wait for it, a printed page......of paper.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Sun 30 Dec 2007, 5:31, closed)

Eh
I'm pretty sure a story like that would have been discussed somewhere on the internet at some point.

I also do not care nearly enough to go digging out old newspapers. I was watching QI with my laptop on my lap, it didn't take a huge amount of effort to google it.
(clumsyeloquence is a girl, Sun 30 Dec 2007, 10:35, closed)

Uh...
I don't think Brian Blessed was involved, they were talking about him at a different point in the show, can you see him getting up Everest? As far as I understand, the poo catching hood man was required to climb along a rope and hang over the glacier they were camped by in order to void his bowels, but with a mighty gale blowing the errant turd managed to find it's way to the warmth and safety of his hood, unnoticed until he returned to the tent. I believe that the word 'space' was only used metaphorically for the void around them. Bloody good show that.
(wing_cmdr I mean not real, but almost a real hologram, Sun 30 Dec 2007, 16:43, closed)

Well...
Not all the way, no, but:

"Blessed is also an adventurer. On three occasions, he has tried to climb Mount Everest (though he never reached the summit), and climbed higher than any other man of his age (56 years at the time; his height record was broken by Yuichiro Miura, aged 70, in 2003) during one attempt in 1993. He was on the mountain on May 10, 1996, when 8 climbers were killed in a sudden late-afternoon blizzard, though Blessed was safe at his base camp that day."
(Mr. In-Between has regretted posting this ever since, Sun 30 Dec 2007, 18:51, closed)

wing_cmdr
It was the 'space' bit that confused me. Thing is, and I'm guessing it might have been Alan Davies that said this as it sounds like something he might say, someone mentioned that the poo was sucked into his hood because there was no gravity or something.

I think they did mean actual space, and were possibly somewhat confused.

But clearly not as confused as the collective consciousness of this thread of replies.
(clumsyeloquence is a girl, Mon 31 Dec 2007, 0:33, closed)