Swine flu call center
After almost a year unemployed I was fortunate enough to be drafted into the national pandemic flu service, a call center set up to save the people of England from dying of swine flu. I receved a single day of training, then I was set loose to read the flu assessment website to callers, then read the results and find them a collection point. The job itself was easy enough, but as I'm sure you recall, swine flu never really got going.

Over the 8 hour shifts we would get 2-3 calls, the average call was about 5 mins long. This led to lots of free time, which we spent doing the following:
-pictionary
-scrabble
-monopoly
-snap
-black jack (21)
-anouther game called black jack that was entirely different
-bullshit
-poker (being the first to buy a poker set then teach everyone the rules made me popular)
-charades

I also read alot. Here are some of the books I read during my 6 month employment
-watchmen
-Lolita
-Frankenstein
-catch 22
-brave new world
-the great gatsby
-how to drive a tank and outher every day persuites for the modern gentleman
-the dark knight returns
-batman year one
-dune

So as you can see, I was paid to hang out, flirt with girls, chat with some decent people and read some decent books. Going through the odd questionair with members of the public was the only thing to shatter the illusion of being stuck on a rainy holiday with some friends.
(Mong goose, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 23:16, 8 replies)

didnt swine flu kill everyone?
I should look outside my bunker.....
(Monkeystrumpet monkey. Monkey, MONKEY!!!, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 9:26, closed)

Yes
Yes it did.

Everyone apart from b3tans and celebrities.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:27, closed)

I'm sure i read about you guys in The Sun? I remember there being some sort of scandal with the call centre workers not doing anything and just messing around and playing games all day with some sort of undercover photos?! haa!
(boosh, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:17, closed)

Yes, I think that was anouther center though. Half the staff on night shift got drunk or high, and the ones related to/friends with the boss didn't anstwer a single call in thier 15 hour super shifts.

Ours did make it into a paper after a girl got fired for being shit at her job, but the service was terminated before they published it.
(Mong goose, Sat 11 Sep 2010, 10:41, closed)

slow reader

(waxdart hello., Fri 10 Sep 2010, 17:33, closed)

I'd have read more but I was also chatting and playing games. Oh, and we watched a few films too.

Saw all of con air without taking a call.
(Mong goose, Sat 11 Sep 2010, 10:43, closed)

I was with you...
until you watched Con Air.

That's a complete waste of everyone's time and money. you should be ashamed
( Another_tragic_case wished he hadn't eaten all the cake, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 11:36, closed)

Nic cage running from an explosion in slow motion. With a mullet. It's so surreal and so bad it's good. The film is corny and ott but it's better because of it. Watch it as a parady of action films and it suddenly becomes amazine.
(Mong goose, Tue 14 Sep 2010, 15:44, closed)