Fun and games on the train
This was back in the days when we had those old trains with the little private carriages for 6 people. I'd been bulldozed onto the last rush hour train out of London with the rest of the livestock and managed to grab a seat in one of these little compartments. Stressed and tired, I turn on my Discman and start to zone out for the 2 hour trip home. Well, that was my plan anyway.

Instead, some drunk Irish feller decided to plonk himself down opposite me. And despite having large, early 90s DJ headphones on, still decided to have a chat with me.

"What'r ye lissnen tew"

"Erm...Korn?"

"Torn?"

"Korn"

"Fawn?"

"Korn"

"Cewl. Ken I have a lissen?"

(Fearing I'll be stabbed if I say no) "..ok".

Look at the state of this man, I'm resigned to not getting my Discman back. But bugger me, he did. But then this drunken man felt he now had enough knowledge to discuss nu-metal with me. So I pulled the old trick of jumping off at the next station, running up the side of the train and getting on further up. So I plonk myself down in another seat and bugger me, 10 minutes later he sits opposite me again.

"I thought you got off?"

"Ooooh....erm...no...no. My...my friend is on this end of the train. He's in the...loo?"

"Ooooh right so."

"...I'll go and see if he's ok!"

So up I jump and go even further down the train and joy of joys! A carriage with the lights out (good old shitty Connex South Eastern). So I spend the rest of the trip hiding under my coat in a blacked out carriage. Funnily enough, people looked at me like I was the nutcase.

I know he was more drunk than mad, but like the shit I used to listen to has to have a whiff of madness about it.
(GONEism, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 16:57, 11 replies)

I have a tendency to do that
if I'm drunk and travelling. Not stalking carriage by carriage or anything but I have often had a grand old time plonking meself down next to an interesting looking individual who might present me with some decent banter.

Tis a compliment, lad, begorrah!
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 17:11, closed)

People looked at you like YOU were the nutcase!?
They were right to. Jumping on and off a train is not normal behaviour.

In future if you don't want to talk to someone, the best solution is to say in a firm voice "I don't want to talk to you." It saves a lot of kerfuffle all round.
(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 17:19, closed)

I'm sorry, what country are you from?
Confrontation is not the British way. We go for avoidance and quiet indignation.
(GONEism, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 18:14, closed)

Well
if we get really upset we might tut.
If we were to get stabbed or raped for example.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 4 Nov 2008, 20:17, closed)

Hahaha
*Tut*

Would you mind everso taking your cock out of me please?
(GONEism, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 20:30, closed)

Ergo
Arthur Dent's packet of biscuits.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Wed 5 Nov 2008, 10:41, closed)

Completely agree with your stance
I once had a mad scotchmon sit next to me on a coach, he had a 4 pint milk bottle filled with beer which he drank and then fell asleep still holding a lit cigarette. I watched him burn.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 17:25, closed)

Eccentric?
Surely if you had met a sober Irish person on the train your story would qualify!

Did he have a visible knife, or give any indication that he was violent?

hemm - might be taking this the wrong way but the drunken Irish stereotype really annoys me! Enough!
(LittleRock is planning her next meal, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 21:38, closed)

I'm sorry
Did I say he was dressed in green, sparring for a fight and had a little leprechaun by his side? Having been threatened by drunken violent ypes before on trains I tend to err on the sie of caution. He was drunk, and happened to be Irish. So fuck off. Right off. Way over there. Near the motorway trafic.
(GONEism, Tue 4 Nov 2008, 22:23, closed)

Did you read the last line of my reply?
calm the fuck down...
(LittleRock is planning her next meal, Wed 5 Nov 2008, 13:58, closed)

I'm perfectly calm.
It was a dismissive, wave-of-the-hand fuck off. Not a screaming, bleeding from the eyes and punching the walls fuck off.
(GONEism, Wed 5 Nov 2008, 15:47, closed)