Remembered a couple more...
Seeing the post about ripping the bit underneath the tongue practicing cunnilingus... I did much the same thing with my ex-girlfriend - as my 'down below' was out of action (see my other answer to this question) and I was but a horny inexperienced fool, we went at it a little too vigorously and I managed to injure my tongue as well. That girl was a deathtrap.

Also, remembering an incident I had when I was younger (about 10 or so), when I got cocky riding around on my new mountain bike on the local dirt track and came off doing what felt like supersonic speed - I'd managed to come down a 15ft drop OK, and I didn't negotiate the bumpy bit afterwards very well and just fell off, my foot caught up in the chain workings and I was dragged down the track on my face for a good few dozen yards or so until the track finally veered off to the right and the bike hit a tree. I got up and had a piss - it was only sensible. I had cuts all down the left side of my face, from hairline to jaw - it's a wonder I didn't lose an eye. To this day I can't work out how I managed to negotiate such a large drop only to do such damage on something 'a bit bumpy'.

There's also the time last year in the ice and snow when I managed to negotiate my way all the way up the huge hill to college not falling over once... before taking a huge tumble onto my arse about 3ft from the entrance doors... right in front of the girl I was trying to impress. Damaged chances and bruised cheeks. 'Arse', I thought. It's worked out quite well, though, and we're now planning on going on holiday together sometime in Autumn - yay me.

There will be no apologies for my length, girth or tendency to waffle.
( Shegetz Chris Kamara's comedy moustache, Sat 4 Sep 2004, 5:08, Reply)