This morning
Bleary eyed and only fuzzily managing to grunt the meekest of greetings to my house mate through my barely concious state as I made my way to begin partaking my morning rituals in the bath room.

I casually noticed the floor was wet as someone hadn't put the shower mat on the floor again, as one notices the colour of the walls or something equally mundane. I began to release my stream of relief into the toilet, when suddenly some primal animal part of my brain kicked in. Through my sleepy barely conscious state I could casually observe the inner workings of my mind.

My eyes communicated fear and panic to my brain stem at exactly the same time as my bladder relayed its gratitude and pleasure at being emptied to my reward centres.

The result was a pleased fearful confusion, then suddenly following brief communication between brain stem and adrenal glands approximately five litres of adrenaline were dumped into my system, like the breaking of a dam.

Consciousness kicked in to my mind like a vision of Arnie in the jungle armed to the teeth, ready and waiting, my usually perfect aim briefly deteriorated, before a dozen different sphincter muscles snapped shut at the speed of sound.

I swear my housemate heard the sonic boom.

My eyes suddenly focussed on the unusual colour of the water, pre-U-bend.

"Oh shit! My kidneys are fucked!" I thought. Brief panic and tears welled into my eyes.

"Oh well, I'd had a good run, best make the most of what's left" I resigned myself to jaundiced death.

The adrenaline then eventually awakened parts of my memory, which is admittedly slower than others parts due to massive (and quite jolly times casued by) the old waccy baccy.

Yup, last night, I'd eaten an entire punnet of "lightly vinegered" beetroot.
( The4thCrystal Wishes he was better at photographamising..., Thu 24 Jul 2008, 19:58, Reply)