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This is a question Failed

On my third driving test, I turned right out of the test centre, reached a pedestrian crossing, attempted to run over a little old lady, was prevented from doing so by the examiner grabbing the wheel, then proceeded straight back to the test centre.

The drive home was very, very quiet. I've never felt such a complete failure.

What have you failed at?

(, Fri 5 Jan 2007, 10:21)
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Failed at failing
I’ve hesitated about posting this in case it looks like a “look at me, I’m so clever” sort of story, but really, it’s more of a reflection of the mongs I was at school with than of my own intellect.

In Year 9 at my hard-as-nails London comprehensive, I decided that the fast track to popularity entailed failing my end-of-year exams. I had a bit of a reputation as a swot (despite the fact that I never actually did any work) and was keen to shake it off once and for all. Mere apathy had got me nowhere. It was time for action. I was going to make a concentrated effort to do really badly in my exams.

Maths was the hardest (to fail, that is). Paper consisted of questions like, “Here’s a formula. Here are some values to put in the formula. What do you get?” I thought, surely nobody’s going to fail this, you’d have to be a complete moron…but got a few questions wrong anyway, just to make sure.

I came top in the year. I also came top in French, music, RE (WTF?) and chemistry.

Fucksocks.

And an impressive number of pupils did fail that maths exam.
(, Wed 10 Jan 2007, 14:59, Reply)

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