broken homework...
The best lie I ever heard was uttered by a kid at my old school. We could not have been more than 9 or 10 and Richard (for that was his name) used to cycle to school. Now, Richard was a bit of a geek and didn't do well with confrontation, so when he realised he hadn't done his homework and would be in trouble, he hatched a cunning plan...

The teacher asked us to hand our books in at the start of the class for marking (as a number of us used to ignore the teacher and do the homework during the day's lesson at times)as we'd be reading from Flight Of The Phoenix (great book, that) this period. Foiled, Richard decided to act - and cut the centr of his exercise book up with scissors so you could almost put your head through it.

When it came to his turn to hand his work in, he handed the book to the teacher, straight-faced. Oddly enough, the teacher queried the condition of his book, to which Richard replied:

"Well, miss, as you know I cycle to school. It was a very cold morning today and my book was in my bag...it had obviously gotten a bit damp, as it appeared to have frozen solid and when I went over a bump, it flew out of my bag, hit a particularly sharp stone and shattered."

I think we lasted about five seconds before the whole class pissed themselves laughing...
(Chad, Thu 17 Jul 2008, 14:09, 1 reply)

hahaha
damnit that's awesome!
i wish i had the ingenuity to think of that now, let alone when i was 10!
(Bruceh, Thu 17 Jul 2008, 14:16, closed)