British Gas called me last month and asked if I wanted to take a homecare plan out.
Yeah, OK. £24/month, all my water and electrical systems covered. Why not?

On Sunday the coil in my hot water tank split.

£1,000 to replace it.

Thanks British gas. Only another 4 years and you'll be back on top.
(username failed moderation, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 14:15, 19 replies)

It won't have cost them £1000 though will it?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 14:23, closed)

No, nothing like it.
But I shall conveniently ignore that.
(username failed moderation, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 14:29, closed)

You can if you like, but I'm not going to.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 14:30, closed)

Stop trolling me!
MODS! He's trolling me.
(username failed moderation, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 14:32, closed)

NO U R - by posting lies on the internet.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 14:34, closed)

No, I said it would cost £1,000 to replace it.
That's what the plumber said. It wasn't actually a plumber, it was Chris Tarrant. He bought me a Ferrari.
(username failed moderation, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 14:42, closed)

You also said "Only another 4 years and you'll be back on top."
But that simply isn't true.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 14:44, closed)

It is true.
It may be that they are back on top before 4 years, but barring any further claims, they *will* be on top in 4 years.

I'm still awfully unhappy at the trolling here.
(username failed moderation, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 17:16, closed)

I don't think anyone's going to top 'I took out some insurance' as a story this week.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 14:48, closed)

you forgot the critical bit of the anecdote where he's quoted a grand to replace a part in a thing that costs about 200 quid brand new
that's Wildean wit right there
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 16:39, closed)

Quite
right.

I'm planning a report on sandwiches next week. Prepare to be thrilled.
(username failed moderation, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 17:15, closed)

Don't you mean filled?

(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 19:20, closed)

Now, karma has Luis Suarezed me in the arse.
Here I am gloating, and BG just called to say the tank they need to fix my system won't be here until next Wednesday.

Another week with just cold water. I am going to have to live like a pleb.
(username failed moderation, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 17:18, closed)

Yeah that's bollocks. Unless yours is extremely unusual it will be held in stock at their various national supplying merchants.
These suppliers are obliged to keep stock of these types of things at all times when British gas put them down as a preferred supplier. Worst case scenario would be next day delivery, they're bullshiting you son.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 18:10, closed)

POTD
It's a click from me etc etc.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 25 Jun 2014, 19:45, closed)

The plumber said a week was the worst case, he would try
to get it quicker.

Ho hum.
(username failed moderation, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 9:39, closed)

The bottom of my header tank split a couple months ago.
(oo-err).

Leaked all through the bedroom ceiling, bugger. I took the opportunity to replace some more of the system as well, because fuck it, why not?

Fucking plumber wired the hot water in backwards so when the switch was off, hot water was on, and left a valve slightly open. We didn't notice the valve was open because everything was running hot.

At 5 AM when the timer for the hot water turned it "on", it switched off. When it started to cool the valve started pissing water everywhere and fucked the ceiling and wall downstairs.

tl;dr: something about plumbers being bastards.
( gone, Thu 26 Jun 2014, 13:19, closed)

Gotta say, I'm quite happy to
build walls, do carpentry and wiring, but plumbing I won't go anywhere near.

Though I'm hesitant to turn this into an advert, British Gas homecare is the way to go. For me, anyway.
(username failed moderation, Fri 27 Jun 2014, 9:09, closed)

I'm with you...
Although over the many years I have had the cover BG are probably up on the deal, it has come in handy in some dire emergency situations - like waking up on New Years Day, AD2000 (yes, the New Minnellium) to a stone cold inoperative boiler, or a leak in an impossibly contrived position behind the bath when Lady Blink was nine months and one week pregnant.

The first would have cost us an impossible amount of money on that day, and in both cases I wouldn't have wanted to take pot luck picking atrader from the Yellow Pages.
(Colonel Blink is now officially a pretentious prick, Sun 29 Jun 2014, 21:08, closed)