* PFFT *I've been pretty farty all week, but 2 large helpings of sausage and lentil stew last night have really tipped things over the edge. I swear you can see these ones.
I'm here at work trying to hold them in so I (a) don't have to keep nipping to the loo like a madman and (b) don't gas half the office, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. I might rupture something if I'm not careful.
Tell us all about your own fartiness.
(
chthonic, Fri 13 Jul 2007, 14:01)
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Stomach painsOne day at college I started suffereing from stomach pains. Thankfully it was during my last lesson, so I finished the lesson, headed for the bus and waited for it, stomach pains getting worse the entire time. I then got on the bus for a 40 minute journey, where the stomach pains seemed to increase exponentially halfway through. Finally getting into my home town, I got off the bus and legged it home, feeling as though my side were about to burst, pushed open the door, threw my stuff down and sat down on the bog without even shutting the door (home alone thankfully). As my cheeks touched the seat, a semi-liquid shit proceeded to evacuate my rectum as I sighed in relief.
'How's this related?' you might think. Well, the semi-liquid shit had a fart embedded in it.
Had you been home that day, you'd've heard my voice from the toilet, going "Ahhhh-ARRRGGGHHH!" as the fart made itself known loudly and violently.
Shit sprayed out of my arse like a volcano and sprayed the entire bowl. It was so disgustingly impressive I took a photo.
The one thing I can't figure out, though, is how part of my shit was fired almost exactly sideways out of my arse, coming to rest on the porcelain just below the seat.
(, Sat 14 Jul 2007, 23:40, Reply)
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