* PFFT *I've been pretty farty all week, but 2 large helpings of sausage and lentil stew last night have really tipped things over the edge. I swear you can see these ones.
I'm here at work trying to hold them in so I (a) don't have to keep nipping to the loo like a madman and (b) don't gas half the office, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. I might rupture something if I'm not careful.
Tell us all about your own fartiness.
(
chthonic, Fri 13 Jul 2007, 14:01)
« Go Back
bummingMillions of years ago, before I was a depraved old slapper, I had a boyfriend of rather advanced length and girth. Being an experimentally minded young person (that's a depraved *young* slapper), I considered it interesting to attempt bottom sex. Unfortunately it was rather uncomfortable and unsuccessful, and we gave up. I sat up as my boyfriend was rolling off the condom and politely warned him, "Watch out, I'm going to fart."
It followed through.
Squealing "EWWWWW!!!" at the top of my lungs, I grabbed the turdlet between two fingers and flushed it down the toilet, then spent several hours scrubbing my fingers (not to mention the brown sheets). My boyfriend, who interestingly does not actually seem to be a b3tan, saw fit to spend the rest of the week emphasising any part of a conversation that involved the word "bottom".
(, Mon 16 Jul 2007, 9:40, Reply)
« Go Back