* PFFT *I've been pretty farty all week, but 2 large helpings of sausage and lentil stew last night have really tipped things over the edge. I swear you can see these ones.
I'm here at work trying to hold them in so I (a) don't have to keep nipping to the loo like a madman and (b) don't gas half the office, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. I might rupture something if I'm not careful.
Tell us all about your own fartiness.
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chthonic, Fri 13 Jul 2007, 14:01)
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The wettest of fartsWhen I was a very junior doctor, I had to assist in an emergency bowel operation for somebody who had obstructed their gut.
My job was to pass things, hold retractors, snip sutures, and take things away. Usually patients have the mother of all laxatives pre-op to make sure their bowels are poo-less, but this was an emergency operation.
I was handed a two-foot section of large bowel the boss had cut out of the patient.
"Take this over to the sink, clean it out and carefully feel for an obvious tumour" I was told.
"All the way along?" I asked.
"Fill your boots" was the reply.
I did indeed fill my boots.
At this point I lost my grip on one end of the slimy shit-filled length of colon. With a "plthp plthp" sound like a wet fart, a litre of semi-liquid stool poured out of the length of gut, down my legs and into one my nice white wellington boots.
There was silence in the theatre apart from the muttered "fucking twat" from the boss.
I chose not to pursue a career as a surgeon.
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sm.pl.crt.rs I don't fucking know, do I?, Mon 16 Jul 2007, 10:08,
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