* PFFT *I've been pretty farty all week, but 2 large helpings of sausage and lentil stew last night have really tipped things over the edge. I swear you can see these ones.
I'm here at work trying to hold them in so I (a) don't have to keep nipping to the loo like a madman and (b) don't gas half the office, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. I might rupture something if I'm not careful.
Tell us all about your own fartiness.
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chthonic, Fri 13 Jul 2007, 14:01)
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Kind of relevantI once worked as an article writer in a newspaper office with lots of sales women and spent all day on a chair that made the most realistic farting sounds you have ever heard. It had the whole repertoire - loud ones, squeaky ones, even wet ones (I know this is pushing the bounds of reality, but it really did). Of course, this would be fine if it was controllable but the chair would only emit one of these happy tunes when I had to stretch / lean etc and would therefore already have at least one butt-cheek lifted off the seat, which made me look more guilty and no amount of subsequent bright red faced looks of shock and cries of "It's not me, it's the chair" would only result in remarks such as “Yeah, RIGHT. You are a dirty fucker Pooflake.” In the end I learned to adapt and would call out such mirth-ridden outbursts such as “More tea, Vicar?” and ‘there goes the elephant’ every time the chair worked its magic. This meant I managed to slyly disguise my own bad boys by mingling them in with the fart-chair’s chortles until people stopped caring. Which to be honest, did not take long.
What is wrong with me and length? But I was there about 2 years
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Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Mon 16 Jul 2007, 14:36,
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