* PFFT *I've been pretty farty all week, but 2 large helpings of sausage and lentil stew last night have really tipped things over the edge. I swear you can see these ones.
I'm here at work trying to hold them in so I (a) don't have to keep nipping to the loo like a madman and (b) don't gas half the office, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. I might rupture something if I'm not careful.
Tell us all about your own fartiness.
(
chthonic, Fri 13 Jul 2007, 14:01)
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TightsDays of yore, I (and the rest of my year 6 class) were involved in the school play of Christopher Columbus.
The majority of the cast ended up in several layers of tights, this included our friend - Farty Pete.
Now, we love Pete, he's a magnificent bastard, but there is something wrong with that boys innards.
At lunch, every single day, he would disappear at precisely 12:10 to shit himself stupid for half an hour.. and it was not unknown for us to go in and put him off.
On one of the performance days, Pete must've had something wrong to eat, he was pumping away like a trooper... and it was getting trapped in these several layers of tights, causing them to balloon significantly. This balloon effect in itself was funny, however, after a gruelling half hour of acting, Pete became tired and sat down at quite a speed. This caused the trapped poison to rise up to the top of his tights as fast as possible, some escaped out the back, but the majority of it reached his thighs which promptly exploded with a strange *fffllllllthhpop!*
This entertained everyone for a good 15 seconds until the smell hit them, it was like something had died, been re-animated and given a job working at a fish factory which then burned down and was replaced with a landfill.
It was foul. Pete still refers to it as his proudest moment.
Length and all that.
(, Mon 16 Jul 2007, 18:23, Reply)
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