* PFFT *I've been pretty farty all week, but 2 large helpings of sausage and lentil stew last night have really tipped things over the edge. I swear you can see these ones.
I'm here at work trying to hold them in so I (a) don't have to keep nipping to the loo like a madman and (b) don't gas half the office, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. I might rupture something if I'm not careful.
Tell us all about your own fartiness.
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chthonic, Fri 13 Jul 2007, 14:01)
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How Many...?I've never hidden the fact I've got IBS. That’s irritable bowel syndrome, not irritable bastard syndrome btw. It’s under control for the most part but there are invariably one or two incidents which betray the condition where a racehorse like postern blast scares everyone around you, or in the surrounding four toilet cubicles if you’re fortunate enough to make it to the relative safety of the karzi before blast off.
So it is that I get more than the average number of fart related incidents. It was a Pot Noodle that started my years of volcanic stomach activity. Evil things.
I've cleared school corridors, had people refuse to play rugby with me, been fined for it and more....
Flight to Los Angeles, September 2000. Stood waiting to go to the in flight karzi. The meds are losing their effect, clenching isn't enough and nobody's coming out. The noise of the plane in flight hid the sound, but pity the poor woman sat sleeping behind me when a 20 second rattler sped out of my backside and straight into her face. When the plane landed I was first off, no looking back!
I see someone else has had the 69 fart too. Sure am glad I'm not the only one. Got my own back later - SBD and pulled the duvet up over her head as I turned over. Women *do* fart, make no mistake about it!
During a very important brainwashing session at work, the Chief Executive finished his bullshitting and asked if there were any questions. That fart - a racehorse special - has gone down in the works folklore as the funniest thing to happen in the office. And certainly my monent of comedy triumph. At my upcoming leaving do I know that's going to come up.
IBS does leave you with a very sensitive stomach. Sushi bars can be a dangerous place to dine, as the subsequent gaseous output can often be worsened with the addition of the stink of fish. Especially at £10 per head all you can eat.
Despite the comms room at work being air conditioned, a sushi special hung in there for half an hour, much to the disapproval of colleagues. The second one - a sushi SBD - was enough to get me sent to an office over the other side of the city!
(, Wed 18 Jul 2007, 23:33, Reply)
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