Mushroom in the wardrobe, cupboards full of toxic mould, Chinese people.
After my term in the Uni halls, I hang back for a few weeks to do some cleaning and earn some money whilst all the students went home, so I got free digs for six weeks and other perks. But that was not enough for me to deal with the horrors I found in one particular block on a hot summers day.

It had previously been occupied by some Chinese students, whom on the whole seemed nice, polite, but shy people and didn't socialise much. No problem with that at all, if anything they were sometimes better to live along-side than many of the spoiled, rich-kids who had just barely left the crutches of Mummy and Daddy. But I digress.

Upon venturing into the block, armed only with bin bags and rubber gloves, we were simply not prepared for the clusterfuck we found.

* Two terms worth of dishes had been discarded everywhere, often with food either rotten or twitching still encrusted to the plates- these were found in pretty much every room (bathrooms included).

* Pretty much every fridge would contain a backlog of discarded meals, simply pushed and buried under imported meat dishes of yesterday (apparently their parents would send them food from China, including meat). The smell was unbearable. Flies emerged. Windows were opened. Bin bags were thrown out of windows, as the trips down the stairwells carrying leaking, 8 month old meat was simply too much for us all.

* Some (not all) beds had been pissed in. Socks had been wanked in. Clothing had been discarded. Poo was found.

* A large grey mushroom was found in one guys wardrobe. We had previously discovered a large pack of dried mushrooms sent over from China in some of the kitchens and had deduced that this particular chap had just left his mushrooms in his wardrobe (as you do) and formed his own eco-system.

* A kitchen cupboard was opened. Four people were nearly sick. A cloud of spores or mould or something escaped. Fuck knows what was in there.

* We also found a Chinese student on one floor of the block. Who was probably in his room wanking , emerging red faced and confused to find us bin-bagging everything in sight. He was not supposed to be there and should have left about four days ago. He had no idea what we were on about.

Good days.
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 19:51, 3 replies)

Who on the whole seemed nice.
If you're going to bother to use whom, at least learn when to use it.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 21:46, closed)

Doesn't really matter does it
You big Nazi
( Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 2 Feb 2012, 22:12, closed)

Unless it's a chinese guys name.

( 6821isnotmyPIN Bored cig., Thu 2 Feb 2012, 23:18, closed)