So my biology teacher tells me to turn on the gas tap
which I do
she spends a minute trying to light the busen burner, only I've turned on the wrong tap

WHOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

she had to sit down for a while after that

or the time I thought the gas cooker lighter was a lightsaber and set fire to s roll of kitchen roll, which then set fire to a cupboard

or the time I accidently covered my desk in an amyl compound and set fire to it

or the time I set off a rocket in the back garden, only for it to topple over and shoot through the catflap into the kitchen

or the time I refilled a zippo with white spirits and lit it only to discover my hand was also covered in white spirits

or the time I was juggling lit firelights and decided to try heading one

or the time I stoked up the fire with methylated spirits, creating a 5 foot jet of flame

or the time I lit the propellant from an aerosol can, pointing it at a window, creating a marvellous starburst pattern, I did it so much the window cracked

or the time I threw an "empty" lighter into the back of the fire, FWOOOOOOMM! pity, I liked that rug

or the time I discovered that potin could be ignited, unfortunatley I had already drunk a fair bit and my judgement was impaired was that point, ah well, I din't need that much hair anyway

I could go on, but you get the idea, I like fire, fire likes me
( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Fri 4 Nov 2005, 15:04, Reply)