Have you ever started a fire?I went to sleep with candles burning - woke up to a circle of flame on the rug. Thought, "Tits. Better put the rug in the bath and turn the taps on." TIP: Don't put a burning rug into a fibre glass bath. I caused about £5000 of damage to the house and was coughing up smoky black phlegm for a few weeks. Can you beat that?
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rob, Tue 2 Mar 2004, 17:48)
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Cooking on GasVisit a pub in Camden. Take one unpleasently obese man with no social skills, poor hygene and a thouroughly poor dress sense, and cover his upper torso in an imense lumberjack shirt that boasts an amazingly obnoxious colour scheme. Take one disposable light (preferably made of red transparent plastic) and wind out the flame control so that the flame extends close to a foot long. Wait for said fat man to insult you yet again then set fire to the fuzzy layer that has developed on the hideous shirt. And Voula!! a flaming fat man dancing in panic erratically slapping himself in a weird "fat man of fire dance". Wanker.
(, Tue 2 Mar 2004, 22:29, Reply)
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