Internet Shitstorm al B3ta
Ingredients -
1 BraynDedd - must be snide and have a large chin.
1 Amorous Badger - allow to settle once having made a self-perceived funny yet frequently nonsensical post. Can also be used for thinning out.
1 Dr Shambolic - simmer angrily until incohate then troll lightly till done.
1 Rory Lyon (may be bought in asian grocers as Fu Manchu) - as with the Shambo.
1 janet aylia - should be disregarded if bitter.
1 cowfoot - ensure that it is alright
1 Monty Boyce - can only be sliced with samurai sword.
1 ringofyre - only the original will suffice, do not use imitation brands.
1 Doveston - make sure it's fresh from /talk.
1 DOZERTRON! (often known as "plummie") - treat gently as it is fragile.
1 Battered - do not allow to post about familial situations.
1 Misery McUglywife - allow to stew in own juices whilst complaining about state of website. May complain if comments about family are made - use with caution as does burn twice.
Sit Duck for as long as it takes before it is ready to flounce. (EDITED for sittingduck - annoying, whingy cunt that he is ;))
Add other snarky commentators who post only shitty replies rather than stories, to taste.
EDIT: Extra emvee, Albert Marshmallow, Happy Phantom or Pooflake maybe added for extra zing!

Method -
Write an interesting, amusing and original story for /qotw. Marinate in an editor or word-processor.
Post on said site. Allow time for the story to rest and the juices to penetrate.

Wait patiently whilst posters brew themselves into a frothy, sudsy stew of anger, bile and invective.
Occasionally stir with comments. Observe that replies may involve "in-jokes" so old and jaded that they have become desiccated and tasteless.
Ensure to raise Ignore level to 2 for some posters as things heat up. Watch closely at this stage as too much Legless Gambit will spoil the broth.
Add liberal sprinklings of "You wife is fat" or OkCupid references whilst avoiding STAR WARS jokes and references to Transformers if possible. Add a large amount of "UPSET ON THE INTERNET" which can be balanced with a modest measure of "comedy website, lol"
Once posts have exceeded 200 but not yet reached 500 remove from /qotw and allow to cool in The Fail Archives.
Enjoy with a beverage of your choice, Cheers.

Serves 1. Or 20 autistic shut-ins.
A snifter of TL;DR? - posting a reply to this post may well qualify you as an "Ingredient".
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 29 Jun 2013, 1:55, 15 replies)

Who's there?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 29 Jun 2013, 1:59, closed)

Go to bed AB, it's late.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 29 Jun 2013, 2:04, closed)

You probably need to get out more
no offence
( broadsword w⚓, Sat 29 Jun 2013, 2:53, closed)

None taken.
Most of my posting is early morning my time - missus and sprog sleeping so on the rare occasion that there are funny stories I have to snigger quietly.

Other than that between work and play - ringo is not a dull boy.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 29 Jun 2013, 3:10, closed)

This is actually quite funny.

(McChinaman banned, Sat 29 Jun 2013, 8:57, closed)

Obligatory
"Cheers".
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 29 Jun 2013, 9:04, closed)

Or...
A circlewank of cuntery.
( sir_spicious2000 Crap I've watched: www.filmplop.blogspot.com/, Sat 29 Jun 2013, 21:09, closed)

TOmato ToMAto

(McChinaman banned, Sun 30 Jun 2013, 2:35, closed)

Hurrah, top of the list.
You must be the most upsettest with me.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 29 Jun 2013, 9:20, closed)

I am BD,
I am.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 29 Jun 2013, 9:27, closed)

Go outside.
/ac
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 29 Jun 2013, 9:54, closed)

Today was spent doing our
"Bring out your dead", ie. the annual council rubbish pickup.
Tomorrow is a home game for the sprogs team. As usual I'll be directing from the side-lines.
I'd kill for a shoulder rub.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 29 Jun 2013, 10:09, closed)

smyls

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 29 Jun 2013, 10:25, closed)

tl;dr: picking up shit and ogling prepubescent girls in the ten minutes spare from internet moaning

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 29 Jun 2013, 10:39, closed)

Oh look!
There it is - the quintessential Shambo answer.

Well done you. Ignoring me and all.

Oh, & my daughter is the only girl on the team btw. And she plays fucking well. 3rd highest goal scorer for the season so far.
3 losses, 1 draw, 5 wins.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 29 Jun 2013, 10:45, closed)

YEAH AND MY DAD DAID YOUR DAD WAS A SMELLY POO AS WELL

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 29 Jun 2013, 11:39, closed)

Shut up
childless.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 29 Jun 2013, 12:18, closed)

Only girl on the team eh?
Ticking an equal opportunities box?
Future golfer?
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 29 Jun 2013, 17:01, closed)

Or..
Soccer tends to be a "boys" game but my daughter had no interest in the female games available such as hockey and netball.
Interesting that you who was accusing someone else of being homophobic the other day would suggest that my daughter might become a lesbian due to her desire to play soccer.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 29 Jun 2013, 22:36, closed)

Hey man, I'm not the one living in the country with the obvious serious sexism problem in sports.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sat 29 Jun 2013, 22:38, closed)

Really?

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 29 Jun 2013, 23:07, closed)

And we have a winner.

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 29 Jun 2013, 11:44, closed)

Or if you prefer your sustenance served as a bland and flavourless grey mush, a watery gruel of distilled boring with a slightly bitter aftertaste, or a textureless and unfulfilling pablum so utterly devoid of excitement that there's no way to tell you've eaten it until you're picking unpleasantly oily clagnuts from your bunghole a few hours later - well, there's always gyzzpddl.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sat 29 Jun 2013, 11:53, closed)

Totes forgot him.
Indicative really isn't it?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 29 Jun 2013, 12:20, closed)

He's essentially just a particularly shit and charmless pastiche of Fr. Austin Purcell.

He did make a valid point here, mind.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sat 29 Jun 2013, 16:42, closed)

I envisage him as an almost Peter Pan-like teenager.
He knows he's too old to be cool any longer but is desperately holding onto those last shreds of uber-hipness in order to try and be one of the gang.
EDIT: I found something - gvvvyp was the 1st person to troll me here. He did it so imaginatively by just copying and pasting my post that week as his. He did it more than once from memory.
Good times.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 29 Jun 2013, 23:36, closed)

yay, i got a mention
finally, everything i have ever posted is vindicated
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sat 29 Jun 2013, 15:49, closed)

I like this

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Sun 30 Jun 2013, 10:57, closed)

Yup.
I like this.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Sun 30 Jun 2013, 15:30, closed)

It's sweet when The Dims try to use big words.
inchoate
incoherent
incohate
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 30 Jun 2013, 16:51, closed)

I like how you even went to the trouble of putting embedded stuff in your post .
Cause you don't care about me or what I have to say one tiny little bit.

It's good to be ignored.
EDIT: Interesting that in all that I've written above you decided to get upset with me over a spelling mistake.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 30 Jun 2013, 21:04, closed)

Would this be best served on a plate, or in a massive beaker?
(cs1ca, Sun 30 Jun 2013, 18:39, closed)

I'd love to help you on your way to 200.
x
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 30 Jun 2013, 19:40, closed)

Cheers!

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 30 Jun 2013, 23:11, closed)

Gotta admit that this is pretty good
although the QOTW is 'yum', not 'Ugh, no thanks'
(The Magic Number is neither magic nor a number, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 8:36, closed)

You utter cunt
I've been a git to you for ages and I'm not in your poxy recipe

AND I'M A BLOODY DUCK

*flounces*


;)
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 10:56, closed)

This sounds good
Can it be baked into a pie?
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 14:56, closed)