On not needing to ask...
My experience of kilt-wearing is that they make chat-up lines utterly unnecessary.

On several occasions, I've had conversations like this:
Girl at party/ ball/ whatever: What's under your kilt? Can I check that you're a real Scot?
Me: Well, there's an obvious way to find out. But I believe in fairness. What's under your dress? Can I check that you're a real woman?

Amazingly, it works most of the time. Less amazingly, alcohol helps.


NB - I'm only a quarter Scottish. But I do like haggis. Does that count?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:21, 9 replies)

Ooops...

I read that as "KIDS make chat-up lines utterly unnecessary"

Just before I collect my ticket to Hull..is it wrong to be strangely aroused by the thought of you in a kilt?

*upgrades ticket to first class*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:24, closed)

^^
no it's a perfectly natural response.

It's wrong to be aroused by his turkish boy though. I found that out the hard way.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:25, closed)

the answer
to the kilt question is normally:

"Worn? Nothing worn, it's all in perfect working order."

Oh, and Enzyme - it's perfectly OK to like haggis and be 0.25 Scots.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:28, closed)

^^Whilst we're talking just plain wrong...

I like haggis with baked beans...

Now THAT's good eatin'!

(and I wonder why I have no control over my bowels?)
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:31, closed)

Pooflake
I read that as "no control over my boils" which rather startled me!

Enzyme - so long as you don't have spaghetti legs, enjoy the Scots part of you to the full. Kilts only look right on guys with at least some calf muscle.

Post a picture and I'll give you a fair and honest opinion. Or laugh, depending.
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:42, closed)

@TWW
And I read that as "don't have control over my balls" which sounds even more likely to get you into trouble at work.

And Enzyme has an entirely spaghetti physique. Which is why his turkish boy has to carry the luggage. That and the fact that it would be ungentlemanly to do it oneself.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:47, closed)

ha, I read it all properly the first time
Enzyme "believes in fairies"
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:52, closed)

Bowels, boils and balls...

I have zero control over all of them.

I just wait for someone to wipe me down before Horlicks o' clock
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 29 Aug 2008, 16:59, closed)

I've seen Enzyme in a kilt....Woo and Yay!
Not a spaghetti appendage in sight.
( girlinthehole, Fri 29 Aug 2008, 17:50, closed)