More secrets
Some of these are too faded to post in their entirety (I'm 19 and have the worst memory in the world), so I'll make a short list.

The time I took a dead squirrel from the bus stop home and buried it in the garden. (I was 12, and I didn't have many friends). The funniest bit was the fact that it clearly had gone into rigor mortis while holding onto a branch then had fallen off, as its little hands and legs were in a hugging position.

I once got incredibly hammered on Tesco Value Gin and Kick*, and thought it'd be an incredible laugh to text people at 2AM and tell people I was bisexual**. While still totally smashed, I was talking to my friend Louis on MSN, a gentleman of the Chinese type. I was asking him if he got that text and to disregard it. It was my mate, who lives in Belgium, whose number I don't have for texting. He still makes fun of me, and thinks I bum Louis.

Minutes after the previous incident I made an adultfriendfinder account, hoping for some kinky chat with some freaky girls. I got old-man-cock photos instead.

I was called Neville throughout the last 2 years of my school life, due to the fact I looked like Longbottom.

I've never been on a date, had a girlfriend or anything, due to my inability to form structured sentences in the presence of attractive people of the female persuasion. In fact, these sentences usually turn out as "Fmeepd".

So, that's probably the most revealing thing I've ever posted on t'Internet. Hope you enjoyed it.

*Sad part was, I could have had anything. But it was sitting there, all 70cls of mouth drying gender bending goodness.

**I'm not, but enough drink down me and I'm yours. There are a few exceptions to this though. I would totally do John Barrowman. Phwoar.***

*** Ok, so maybe I am a bit.
( Grokthought wouldn't pay that for Chinese 5-Spice, Wed 5 Sep 2007, 8:50, Reply)