Hygiene and sex. Part II.
Earlier this year I was in a relationship that was... fleeting, shall we say. The sex was non-existent and in an attempt to add some flavour to our bedroom activities, I planted the seed of inquiry into her mind regarding anal sex. I'd done it before and found it to be most enjoyable. The women I've buggered? Not so much.

She agrees and a couple of weeks later we both run to bed very excited because she's really enjoying being anally violated. I skipped using protection this time (we were quite excited) and a good time was had by all.

After finishing this most sinful act sans condom, I have to wash myself. So I walk into her family bathroom and turn the light on to discover that I'm rather unclean downstairs and unfortunately, my knob won't reach the tap. I can't use the bath taps as it's 1AM and it would wake the rest of her family up. Thinking quickly, I realise that if I can't go to the water, then the water should come to me.

You know the small beaker people use to rinse their mouths out after brushing their teeth? I located it, removed the toothbrushes and filled it with water. After thoroughly rinsing my soiled apparatus in said cup I look at the water to discover that it resembles a weak beef broth replete with little pieces of shit. A faecal aquarium, if you will.

After which I tip the water into the sink, replace the toothbrushes and conveniently forget to wash / rinse / burn the cup.

It still makes me giggle to think of her parents brushing their teeth with some of their daughter's anal additive. They had a good sense of humour, so they wouldn't have minded so much.

And like most people here, I have defaced a copy of Gideon's Bible in school. It's a rite-of-passage thing, I think.
(ElectricMonk is falling awake on, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 19:14, 6 replies)

aaaargh!
just....vile....aaaaargh!
(jennymnemonic, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 19:17, closed)

That
sickens me to the point of wanting to deglove my own head.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 19:27, closed)

Yuck.... Yuck... Yuck...
I feel soiled now for having read that.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 17 Dec 2008, 19:49, closed)

'They had a good sense of humour, so they wouldn't have minded so much.'
For some reason, I can't imagine them ruffling your hair and calling you a cheeky little scamp if they ever did find out.
(Ellinikos contains a source of phenylalanine, Wed 17 Dec 2008, 22:59, closed)

ha
hahahahahahahaha
(harrison89, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 2:48, closed)

Twat!!
Tha;ts just evil!

And hell bound! Good story tho!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Thu 18 Dec 2008, 9:46, closed)