"Team building exercise"
As some of you know, I'm a salesman. I have been a salesman for about 22 years now. Sales was a strange career choice for me, I really am as my board sig says "Captain Placid" and I joined an innately competetive profession.

I'm also considered fairly good at it.

For 363 days of the year the MD actively encourages this competitive element, not only the economic necessity of beating our competition, but also competition between the members of the sales force.

At each sales meeting our sales figures and profit margins are displayed for all to see, with derisive hoots for bad figures and grudging applause for good figures. Everyone's beady eye is drawn to a "hidden" cell at the end of the profit column, the one marked "bonus".

We're paid a percentage of the gross margin increase vs last year, however the percentages are personally negotiated, so our colleagues have no idea of just how much each others' bonus equates to. This causes a lot of bar room discussion (on expenses naturally) with sly attempts to figure out the size of the bonus by asking "what you'll spend it on"?

So, in short, I work in a competetive environment in a competetive industry with competetive colleagues, managed by a man who actively encourages internal competition.


So why, by the fetid suppurating axe-wound of St Jade, do I have to attend a TWO-FUCKING-DAY "Team building exercise"!?


BTW, the MD has told me that under NO circumstances am I to discuss my bonus with my colleagues. I'll just have to parade my new hand-built guitar at the next meeting.




With the price tag still on it of course.



Competetive? Smug?




Moi?!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 14:57, 9 replies)

Ooh, what will you buy?
Mehehe...bone-us.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 15:16, closed)

ooh, what guitar are you getting?
tell all.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 15:50, closed)

Well........
I've got my eye on a Martin HD7 - special order only-with a few extra twiddly bits of inlay on it.
I was looking at a Proulx, until I saw:
A/ The waiting list
B/ The price
C/ Fuck me sideways with a red-hot banjo - HOW MUCH!?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 17:09, closed)

"fetid suppurating axe-wound of St Jade"...

Mwwwwah! Bravo sir!

*clickety woo*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 24 Feb 2009, 16:18, closed)

Well I guess..
..it would depend on the make of your hand built guitar.

Don't think anyone would be impressed if it was a hand built Yamaha (unless they know nothing about guitars :P)
(ldwater otherwise known as a 'jive turkey', Tue 24 Feb 2009, 16:22, closed)

"...St Jade..."
*Clicks*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 24 Feb 2009, 16:45, closed)

Erm...
..when you get pulled aside and told not to let your colleagues find out how much you are on, isn't that normally when they are screwing you over and are on less than everyone else?? :)

Nice guitar though.
( Jimbuktu See? Right here, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 17:58, closed)

Yep
It's a nice guitar! I played one a while ago and that prompted me to convert a six-string to seven-string (octave doubled G).
Sounds great! But the Martin is in a league of it's own!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 24 Feb 2009, 18:13, closed)

Click
Just for this:

"fetid suppurating axe-wound of St Jade"


(I had to go and look up 'suppurating' though ;-) )
(dchurch bah, Wed 25 Feb 2009, 12:21, closed)