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This is a question I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Challenge: write a joke. As simple joke with a setup and a punchline.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT - IGNORING THIS COULD RESULT IN BAN

* Don't steal jokes - write them
* Don't flood post
* Just don't be a dick ok?

So join in and write a bad joke and apologise for it.

Read Latest | Highest Voted

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 8 Aug 2018, 9:00)
Pages: Latest, 44, 43, 42, 41, 40, ... 1

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Adam Ant reckons the Poirot novels sound too complicated.
I told him, "Read Hercule, it's nothing to be scared of."
(Max Harvey, Sun 9 Jul 2023, 7:42, Reply)
I've joined a campaign group to prevent the speaker of the House of Commons from burning fossil fuels.
#JustStopHoyle.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Sun 9 Jul 2023, 0:22, Reply)
who is the second lady of soul piss?
wetta james
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Thu 6 Jul 2023, 9:47, Reply)
who is the first lady of soul piss?
uretha franklin
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 6 Jul 2023, 0:29, Reply)
Why didn't Nick Griffin laugh when he was pelted with fart eggs?
He didn't get the yolk!
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 5 Jul 2023, 0:17, Reply)
Brian Wilson, Carl Wilson and Dennis Wilson
walk into a bar bar bar
(I helped save b3ta! Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 4 Jul 2023, 13:55, Reply)
What do you get if you cross an egg?
Confused Easter merchandise.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Tue 4 Jul 2023, 12:18, Reply)
My unborn chicken was extremely shy
but he soon came out of his shell.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Tue 4 Jul 2023, 11:23, Reply)
What happens when you tell an egg a joke?
It cracks up!
(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Tue 4 Jul 2023, 10:53, Reply)
Who is a pirate's favourite author?

GeARRRR!ge ARRRR! ARRRR! MARRRR!tin
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Mon 3 Jul 2023, 16:14, Reply)
How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
By dropping it seven feet – it won’t break for the first six.
(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Mon 3 Jul 2023, 8:18, 3 replies, latest was 10 months ago)
How is b3ta like an old shoe?
Because they’re both worn out and stink.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Sun 2 Jul 2023, 20:34, Reply)
What's the collective noun for actors named LaBeouf?
A fuchsia.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Sun 2 Jul 2023, 17:58, 1 reply, 10 months ago)
Why did the swimming pool go red?
Tom's Monthly!
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 1 Jul 2023, 17:42, Reply)
I bought a Time Delay air freshener
but it smelled of chlorine and bumming.
Turns out I'd bought a Tom Daley air freshener!
(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Sat 1 Jul 2023, 9:23, 1 reply, 10 months ago)
Which Mexican-American mouse had her first number one track with 'Lose You To Love Me'
Speedena Gonzomez
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 30 Jun 2023, 16:05, Reply)
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I don't know if I can get hard, I just got laid this morning.
(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Fri 30 Jun 2023, 14:53, Reply)
I tried a cannabis/granite blend…
It left me completely stoned.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Thu 29 Jun 2023, 18:07, Reply)
So this taliban went to hollywood......
But all he did was make Box Office Bombs.
(FrenchBoast, Wed 28 Jun 2023, 15:40, 3 replies, latest was 10 months ago)
What do you call a cemetery for rock stars?
Gastonburied.
(FrenchBoast, Wed 28 Jun 2023, 15:39, 1 reply, 10 months ago)
What does Tom Daley have in common with pigeon soup?
Dove into water.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Wed 28 Jun 2023, 13:03, Reply)
Local pigeons?
I thought that all the pigeons round here were local but it seems it is not so. I asked one where he was from and he said "Peru."
(CleverLittlePIg, Wed 28 Jun 2023, 10:32, 1 reply, 10 months ago)
Elton John really is into his salads and lettuce.
… He’s a Rocket man, apparently.
(lladoog once licked never beaten, Wed 28 Jun 2023, 10:10, Reply)
Which rodent has had a (mostly) friendly rivalry with Elton John over the course of their 50+ year careers?
Rod Shrewart!
(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Wed 28 Jun 2023, 9:18, Reply)
Which mouse has had a (mostly) friendly rivalry with Elton John over the course of their 50+ year careers?
Rodent Stewart!
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Tue 27 Jun 2023, 12:06, 1 reply, 10 months ago)
Where do most English spies live?
The Peek District.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Tue 27 Jun 2023, 10:07, 3 replies, latest was 10 months ago)
Which mouse duetted with Elton John on two occasions?
Squeaky Dee!
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Tue 27 Jun 2023, 9:29, Reply)
How many clowns does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5.
1 to hold the lightbulb, and 4 to spin the elephant.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Sun 25 Jun 2023, 18:41, Reply)
How many eggs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. Eggs don’t have hands
(sticklebricks it's you daddy!, Sun 25 Jun 2023, 9:31, 5 replies, latest was 10 months ago)
What’s the difference between b3ta and your Mum?
One is filled with cocks, and the other is filled with dicks.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Sun 25 Jun 2023, 4:38, Reply)

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