Thomas the Tank Engine - the hidden dangers
Not me but my wife - when she was 5 and sister 3, an argument about who got to read a Thomas the Tank Engine book ("Really Useful Engines" for the aficionados out there) resulted in sister twatting wife in the neck with said book.

Wife fell backwards onto bed, completely and genuinely paralysed - unable to move a muscle of her own volition below the neck. Cue hysterical toddler sis fetching parents - parents not disposed to believe wife (they are not the worlds most sympathetic people), until Dad picked her up and tried to stand her on her feet, telling her "not to be silly". Wife crumples to floor and hits head on bed, now bleeding too.

Parents now realise paralysis genuine, bundle wife into car and off to casualty. On learning that paralysis was (thankfully) temporary and feeling gradually returning, decide not to miss visiting the friends they had intended to see that aft, and piss off for a charming coffee or three, leaving still mostly-paralysed daughter on back seat of car for 3 hours!

In retrospect, she's more fucked off with them than with her sister (didnt stop her biting sisters knee hard enough to leave a permanent scar as soon as she'd recovered though).

Can't help but notice that obscenity filters seem to be off at the mo. Cuntcuntcuntfuckcuntshit. Yay for gratuitous childishness. Wank.
(testmeuk, Tue 23 Aug 2005, 15:41, Reply)