My only brush with Our Brave Lads
A mate & I spent an afternoon playing pool and drinking in our local. Afternoon turned to evening, and we knew we were in trouble after the 12th Babycham, but being proper lads and all, kept going. It would have seemed impolite to the bar staff to stop.

Both of us are fairly politically astute, left wing, and on that occasion, really quite gobby. One of my mate's loud diatribes against Thatcher (this was the eighties), capitalism and yuppy scum was overheard and taken umbrage to by some gentlemen who were in the employ of Her Majesty's armed forces.

There were bestial grunts which went along the lines of "dead...poof...lefty...kill...nonce", and they moved in, threateningly. One of them informed us that as an act of patriotism, he'd be removing my mate's liver and having it served rare on a bed of wilted bok choi with a veal and port jus (OK, I paraphrase).

"Patriotism?" I slurred, "don't tell me about patriotism, I served in the Falklands!" (which, by the way, wasn't true - I was a card carrying member of CND and a trotsky agitator).

"O yeah? Army?" our threatening chums gaily rejoined.

"Military Intelligence. Can't tell you more. Hush hush, you know", I trilled.

They took a closer look at my short-cropped hair, and the psychotic glaze of 14 pints, and muttered "Ok then", and off they lurched.


My old fella (an ex teacher) said to me that at school there were five ability streams, 'A', 'B', 'C', 'D' and 'Army'. Seems he was right.
( petuniadb, Mon 27 Mar 2006, 15:41, Reply)