Karma
I married my childhood sweetheart just a smidge before my University graduation. We had been overjoyed and loved up in one another’s company for many years at this point, so I had no qualms in giving in to marriage at such a young age. We were destined to be together forever, you see, God smiled love upon us. I was riding the dot com boom and made a fortune; I bought a house, purchases nice cars, ate nice meals, took nice holidays, and generally lived the good life, rutting as often as the clock chimed.

Moreover, as happens when people get married, things changed. It was not the typical ‘can’t put your finger on it’ alterations to everyday life. He started beating me with regularity and severity. “Never in the face!” he would proclaim, knowing that it would be difficult for me mask a black eye. Rumours of his gay cottaging dalliances began to emerge, details retold to me by those who saw him getting his end off in a notorious public toilet. Then he started to drug me; I would often wake up with sore, bleeding nether regions. He spent our money wildly and freely on fripperies he kept secret from me. Life was miserable; I could not carry on. I hatched a plan to leave; I had to, I was afraid for my life.

I began saving every penny I had, squirreling it away in my ‘escape’ bank account. I bought the plane tickets, I put in secret notice at work, I had a new flat is this faraway location. Few people knew of my plans, but my plans leaked. My phones, you see, had been tapped by my father-in-law (who also hit me, as did his mother and his brothers.) My ex-husband’s brother turned up at my house for the specific purpose of killing me, but managed only to beat me instead. I did not call the police, I was meant to leave in two days. Nothing, not even somebody trying to kill me, would stop me.

I woke up the next morning and set about getting my things in order. By this time I had saved £16,000 which I was going to transfer into a different bank account (I had stupidly, to avoid suspicion, given the ex access to my account.) I had nothing. Everything I had was gone. I went home and found my ex-husband gleaming, polishing his brand new motorbike. He threw me against a wall for one last ‘hurrah’.

And so I escaped with nothing to my name, just a couple of suitcases crammed full of sentimental items. I arrived without a penny to my name, unable to afford the flat. I moved into a crack den in a bad part of town, ate a cup of rice for every meal, and snuck onto buses until I got a job a couple months later. Life changed its miserable nature, but at least I was away from him.

Then word started coming back to me – my family did not believe my story. Such a ‘nice boy’ would not do such things, you see! How dare I try to ruin this poor man’s life because I did not like being married! My family – my large, extended family – became hostile towards me. I was, they said, I liar. While they persecuted me, he was invited to family gathering and children’s birthday parties.

He told tales of me racking up massive credit card debts. He told tales of my infidelity. He told people I was an emotionally abusive alcoholic. He told people that my behaviour had driven him to suicidal thoughts. With every flourish, people ate it up. How could they not? He was such a ‘nice boy’.

When the divorce proceedings began, I could not afford a lawyer. At this point, I had moved on to being able to afford two cups of rice a day. He, on the other hand, hired a bastard of a solicitor. Together, they were bent on screwing me. I submitted papers to the courts outlining the abuse; I sent pictures of bruises the size of dinner platters. They were never entered into argument.

In the end, he got my house, my cars, the boat, my £16,000 – everything but two suitcases worth of sentimental trinkets and clothing. Everything of value that I left behind with my family and friends had to be given back or sold for cash, which was to be handed to him. If you ever hear somebody say that the courts are always on the woman’s side, remember my story.

I still do not speak to my family – they still believe that I made it all up. He now works a high profile job, receiving a mighty pay package. I open newspapers to find him staring out at me. He travels the world drinking champagne, one might say he truly leads a great and happy life. In the end, after selling my house (love the London boom) and cars, he pocketed a cool £130,000. After all that abuse and fearing for my life, I had absolutely nothing.

I now have a great job, a decent house, and a loving partner. Oh, and I’m not a fucked up mentalist after all of that. The dude was nuts.

Karma? I don’t believe in it.

Apologies for the length, I really really really REALLY like words.
(TheSnark oh, c'mon, like you didn't see me coming, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 9:53, 17 replies)

It's truly shocking
that b@st@rds can get away with this type of sh!t.
You have my sympathies.
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 10:07, closed)

0_o
wow
( SauronWibble I'll hold it, you lick it..., Fri 22 Feb 2008, 10:17, closed)

You may not believe in karma

but right now I'm squeezing my eyes tightly shut and sending as many happy thoughts your way as I can!!

Good luck for the future!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 10:29, closed)

Oh wow.
I wish I could go to where you are and give you a hug.

I'm so proud that you could get out. I wish you all the very best, all good things, for the rest of your life.
(posthumous mince is tiptoeing through the tulips, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 10:30, closed)

I assume
that naming and shaming the individual will cause more trouble than it's worth?

All the best.
( Muns, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 10:30, closed)

Well done for having the strength to get away
I don't know how they do it, but the abusive partner so often wins the sympathies of family and friends - I suppose because they're so good at manipulation. For what it's worth, you have the support of b3tans

*hugs*
( Hampster Squared has stuff at www.tilla.co.uk, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 10:38, closed)

Wow!
Makes all my past and present problems fade into obscurity.

I still really am blown away by the variety of amazing people that are on this website and glad that I get to hear their stories.

*And don't worry, he'll get what's coming to him eventually. Sometimes Karma is a waiting game* : )
( girlinthehole, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 10:38, closed)

Here's hoping...
...Karma is taking its sweet time, and planning something truly hideous for the bastard.

*hugs*
(ToysForBigBoys would spread her legs for Nick Clegg., Fri 22 Feb 2008, 10:39, closed)

Keep Your Chin Up
Leaches need something to live off.

Take away the host and it's simply a matter of time before they wither and die...

You have been there before and you know how to succeed.

I'm guessing you can do it again.

Best of luck..........
(Dark Matter All The Wonders In The World & We Invent Boredom, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 10:44, closed)

*supports*
You're an inspriation to us all.

I'm semi convinced that Karma exists - he'll get cancer or something. If he doesn't, I'm sure we can arrange a B3ta 'Karma' session with him on your behalf...

Thank you for sharing...

*hugs*
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Fri 22 Feb 2008, 11:37, closed)

I should add...
That was 7 years ago!

I spent all that time being so growed up - stiff upper lip and all that - I'm now totally growed down.

But thank you everybody. Really. Perhaps the collected energies of b3ta will kickstart this karma business.
(TheSnark oh, c'mon, like you didn't see me coming, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 12:34, closed)

he'll get his
karma will bite this guy on the arse so hard he won't he be able to sit down again.

what a git!
(phe, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 13:24, closed)

Holy shit
What a wanker. When karma gets around to bitchslapping this bastard, he'll see stars. And then... die, or something.

You must be an amazing person to pull through something like that. I hope you get all the good things you clearly deserve.
(Wheeler back off Amazon, she's mine!, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 20:55, closed)

Karma
Don't worry, he'll get all he deserves. As people have said before, karma is a dish served very cold and totally unpalatable. I'm glad you've found a new life, and massive shit on him when he least expects it. If you want to name and shame him, go ahead.
(Dr Teeth Who asked you, you fuckin' hobbit?, Sat 23 Feb 2008, 1:14, closed)

Just wait!
He'll get his just desserts - I promise you - it comes back one way or another, and he sounds like the most deserving case
(Chevron71 is oscillating wildly...., Sat 23 Feb 2008, 2:42, closed)

Well done!
Congratulations on getting away from him. You did what my aunt couldn't do and my uncle stabbed her to death for it.
(thatguythere is wondering where he is, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 11:01, closed)

Blimey.
I hope karma came back to bite him in the arse.

People say that battered wives are weak. I beg to differ; it takes a lot of strength to put up with this sort of thing on a daily basis, but even more to leave and still have the peanuts about you to successfully start your life again.

I had a colleague who, after years of abuse, only left her husband after he took a nail gun to her head. Fekking hell, she had it far worse than I ever did. So did your aunt.

It is shocking how often it happens - the number of times my story has slipped out (I generally don't let it, it is too 'heavy' and 'dark' for most) and a passer-by, a friend a relative relays their own tale of abuse is shocking.

And the thing is, when you're beaten, you can easily blame the other person for it. I never once thought it was my fault, that I ever did anything wrong. Words can be those things that destroy your life. Abuse comes in all forms; emotional abuse, to me, is far more sinister.

Also, the police force is disgusting in their attitude towards marriage / relationship rape. Just because you have consented previously doesn't mean that you consented at that violent point.
(TheSnark oh, c'mon, like you didn't see me coming, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 12:30, closed)