More tales from the hospital
Something a little more recent - I was working on a gastroenterology team, which meant all those who had pickled their livers most effectively via the medium of Tesco Value Trampagne would magically end up under the care of my team. These people weren't your common or garden drunks; these were the hardcore ones, the ones who would continue to drink despite being brought into hospital half-dead from bleeding torrentially out of both ends.

These guys are determined, and not the world's most pleasant characters. Neither do they associate with the most pleasant people, for those are the sorts who bring the boozes into the hospital. It is one Thursday evening, and it's 7pm. I'm tying up a little paperwork, and really, I should have gone home 2 hours ago, but that's the way things are. In walks the senior sister of the ward and says 'WD, you know the man in bed 17? Well, you'll have to throw him out.'

I look up to find her carrying a can of finest Diamond White. I enquire why - other than the not uncommon finding of booze. It turned out that in the attempt to remove the prohibited item from his clutches, one of the nurses did attain the can. In her face.

So I face the drunken man - who was oh so sorry, and it was all her fault; at this point I walked out of the bay, and decided to examine what I could do more closely. It turned out that though I was senior enough to tell him he might be thrown out, I had no power to ban him from the Trust; that was the consultant's job. Being now 7:30pm, there wouldn't be a consultant in the hospital, so after calling my boss on his mobile, telling him what happened. We decided I should sign what I could, and leave it at that - he'll deal with the rest tomorrow.

In the end, the man took his own self-discharge, and that was that.

Come Friday, and I'm making my way for a ward round with my boss. However, the first person I meet is not the team, but something from the management side of things. He then proceeds to bollock me in the ward for not throwing the twat out. I say nothing. I let him continue, giving him the noddies, as my boss, who is behind him, listens to him, then taps him on the shoulder and roars, 'because she can't - didn't you read your own policy? Get out of my sight!'

As for the drunken twat - he's now banned from accessing hospital services. The closest he can now get to a hospital is A&E, at which point he'll be patched up, and slung back out again.
(witty_ditty has made multiple miaows since, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 17:20, 2 replies)

i worked in hospital pharmacy for 10 years...
before i saw the light at the end of the endoscope and went into gastroenterology, i worked in hospital pharmacy for 10 years and we actually carried vodka! we would buy a bottle of the cheapest stuff available and pour measured quantities into those little amber pharmacy bottles. i'm sure the plastic made it taste of ass. it was reserved for patients with DTs.

i believe we also carried beer. again, the cheapest shit available.

it was all locked up inside the Pyxis.
(ohnonotagain It's worse than you thought. I'm Canadian., Mon 25 Feb 2008, 5:59, closed)

Have a click
because the thought of some admin twat getting put down made me smile.
(Bearded Whumpus In chav Britain, schoolgirl offers sweets to YOU!, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 10:58, closed)