Pea roasting the CV lies
I used to be No Cake For the Impuritay, you know. Here is my pearoast.

I have qualifications according to my CV. Not true. I'm just experienced.

See, I wrote my CV on my dad's computer, years ago, and I'd lied to him about finishing that college course. I figured after dropping out of university for being a lazy cnut, he'd be angry if I failed as miserably at my HND.

So he never knew I was just an 'A' Level guy. I needed his help getting the CV in order, so he was going to see what I'd written, and I was living at home for this jobless period, so he got to see the printed versions I sent out too.

I got a job, and no-one checked.
And another one.
And another...

It still says I have an HND on my CV. It's stayed firmly on the file, no matter what other updates I've made over the years.
I'm used as a consultant on all matters legal and scientific due to my "qualifications".
Bollocks - I've just got thirteen years of work in the field.

Edit: Six years on from that original post, and I've taken the HND off the CV. Now I have nineteen years experience, in the same field.
( Invisible Wizard - 9th Level Pissant, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 23:11, Reply)