power to your pedals
i'm one of those annoying cyclists you see about the place sometimes.
well, not that annoying, really. i follow the highway code and don't jump the lights. i cycle because i can't drive.
a few months ago, i was on my bike and heading off to the bank, when i had to stop at the lights. within a few seconds, a gleaming black mercedes pulled up next to me. it was being driven by what appeared to be a large cock in sunglasses. said cock leaned out of his window and sneered "you wanna get yourself a car, much more reliable. or can you only afford that shitty pushbike?" grunting and chuckling, he pulled his head back through the window, just as the lights changed.
my little victory was being able to ride off on my merry way, as his car stalled at the lights.
nothing against cars, just arsehole drivers.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 18:41, 3 replies)

Haha! That's great!
I won't post this as a separate story because its not mine, but a friend was cut up whilst cycling by a woman in a 4x4, who then stopped and got out. She started yelling at him, telling him he was dangerous and should get off the road - my friend just stood there letting her shout. Apparently it was his fault she wasn't looking and narrowly avoided crashing into the back of him, that cyclists are a menace etc. etc.

She decided now would be an ideal time to threaten to call the Police. "No need, for an officer is already here" says my friend, and proffers his ID. "Now, perhaps I can talk to you about your illegally parked car..."
(Captain Skippy pooed in a bag and left it on your doorstep, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 5:42, closed)

hahaha!
serves her bloody right!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:05, closed)

Don't believe it.
It defies the laws of nature that an officer of HM Plod is present when some arsehole does something like that.
They usually turn up just after the event... then close the road for as long as possible for an investigation, just to piss off everyone else.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Wed 16 Feb 2011, 19:46, closed)