bunch of cocks
A murder of crows, a gaggle of geese, a herd of fucking cows amongst the many collective nouns available in the English language.

What are we moving towards? Everything is slowly now becoming 'a bunch'.

A bunch of pens. A bunch of work. A bunch of fucking people.

"Yeah, there's a bunch of us coming". A bunch? A fucking bunch?

cunts
( rofl harris, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 13:51, 68 replies)

Bunch is in fact the collective noun for cunts.

(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 14:07, closed)

no, that would be "shower"

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 17:36, closed)

Bunch of showers?
Sounds a bit shit.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 18:00, closed)

i fucking love collective nouns
a parliament of owls, an eloquence of lawyers, a bellowing of bullfinches, a cohort of zebras, an obeisance of servants, a disguising of taylors, a prudence of vicars... glorious.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 14:16, closed)

... a dweebish logorrhoea of collective nouns.

(Go Man River everybody loves anal, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 14:29, closed)

^ jelly of my collective skillz^

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 14:55, closed)

They're great if you want to sound like the kind of nose snorting dweeb who points out that peanuts are actually a legume.

(Go Man River everybody loves anal, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 15:41, closed)

^^ just pointed out that peanuts are actually a legume ^^

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 21 Jul 2015, 15:55, closed)

so basically you then?
an irony of shambleses
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 15:55, closed)

^^ possible nose snorting dweeb ^^

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 21 Jul 2015, 15:55, closed)

what the fuck is a nose snorting dweeb?

( rofl harris, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 16:32, closed)

The kind of person who finds twee collective nouns "glorious".

(Go Man River everybody loves anal, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 16:36, closed)

Not a fan of poetry then, either
Or literature?
( rofl harris, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 16:43, closed)

Yerr. Dweebish collective nouns are the same as poetry.

(Go Man River everybody loves anal, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 16:55, closed)

racheldweeb will appreciate this as a book wanker
I found an almost complete set of 1970s penguin "Complete Works" paperbacks in oxfam. Barely touched. They smell strongly of old lady but otherwise splendid.
(Go Man River everybody loves anal, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 17:03, closed)

wantwantwant

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 17:04, closed)

You snooze you lose.
Mmmm. Lilacs and pot pourri.
(Go Man River everybody loves anal, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 17:07, closed)

that's not dust
that's dried flakes of old lady skin
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 17:19, closed)

It tastes like cold cream and regret.

(Go Man River everybody loves anal, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 17:20, closed)

^ lol shops in oxfam

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 17:50, closed)

Yes.
Fortunately I live in a university city and not a stockbroker commuter hole so the local oxfam has an excellent turnover of books. Yours probably has tweed suits and Jilly Cooper.
(Go Man River everybody loves anal, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 18:06, closed)

^ lol works behind the counter in Oxfam.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 22 Jul 2015, 13:52, closed)

did you see his ridiculous rant about french with blaireau 69?
that's your answer
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 17:04, closed)

Link now dammit.

(SlantedScience, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 6:04, closed)

b3ta.com/questions/conversationkillers/post1205599
(Go Man River everybody loves anal, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 8:54, closed)

Dunno, man.
I mean ... it's a bit weird that she remembers a post from years ago where some twit got upset that you speak French. She must have meant something else.
(Go Man River everybody loves anal, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 8:56, closed)

it was fairly memorable
my friend speaks French. well, my mrs IS French.

it was like watching two joeys having a dribbling contest.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 10:48, closed)

b69 was a treat, wasn't he?
I kind of miss his drunken rants
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 8:57, closed)

I got dozens of genuinely mental fury-gazzes from him on my Shambles account.
He wasn't a well man.
(Go Man River everybody loves anal, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 9:07, closed)

Yeah he used to try to reason with Rory via gaz, the big silly.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 9:09, closed)

Here we go, turns out he needed Rory's shoulder to cry on after this upsetting argument with you:
but just so that know (am i feeling charitable tonight or what?) in spite of the potential malice my paranoia keeps insisting on pointing out "shut up paranoia, there's only room for so many voices in here", this is pretty much how i feel about the last few weeks or whatever here on /qotw.
shambo took a dislike to me yonks ago voicing my displeasure at him being all trolly.
I was probably being a boring, medicated, drunken toss-pot.
He was doing his thread-deleting and editing/re-posting trick and I called him out on it is all. He then spent time and effort stalking me and raking up whatever personal info he could find about me and gazzed it to me (clearly trying to impotently menace me).
I politely (obviously in hindsight a mistake on my part) gazzed him back asking for a change of tack but all he could manage as a response was to post highly edited versions of my gazzes (i think pm means private or personal message?) on /talk.
Which is probably bad forum form?
And then one thing led to another.
I commented to another poster, in a later thread that the french phrase they had posted lacked, to my knowledge, a definite article and shambo disagreed strongly. considering his recent form, I responded in the manner I saw fit and he got utterly wanky with me. apparently his mrs is french and he has access to t'internet and is "fluent" in french himself and has a few french dictionaries in the house so obviously he (and only he) can be right. yeah, whatever. i've got hand-me down french dictionaries, novels, technical manuals and all other sorts of stuff too, from my sister (st andrews' 2:1hons french) however he tangented (is that even a word?) rather splendidly and, ignoring the fact that my source (not my sister in this case cos my sister barely uses her french these days, but a good pal: French father, Vietnamese mother, 54yoa (55?) professional translator for 30-odd years, very dear friend, never shagged her or got bumhole pictures. She never paid my mortgage either but I must owe her about a thousand jars of rillettes by now) had merely commented that in her freelance professional world (some academic, a little eu, but mainly publishing and industrial stuff) that the form without the definite article was generally perceived as an indication of yokelness. She did not (nor I) ever suggest that it was not an acceptable form, merely that it was a bit yokelish.
He backed up his rant with google stats (but what exactly were the search criteria?) whereas my point was based on discussion with an individual who knew intimately the texts from whence the phrase originated.
and that was about that until i got naughty stepped for waging a war on shambo. fuck it, i was in the mood for a rumble, i guess that's what happens when you knock the meds on the head!
but he's still at it. i guess it pays to be buddies with jonti and cr3?
incidentally there never were any bumhole pictures, not with her nor wbm/rts either :(

and there you have it, i guess.
thanks for listening and goodnight,
Al
( blaireau69 is the yardstick you measure cunts by., Thu 26 May 2011, 02:24, ignore, delete, archive, reply)
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 9:13, closed)

jesus

(Go Man River everybody loves anal, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 9:15, closed)

I think "lol" is an apt response to this.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 12:10, closed)

Jesus christ, that was 4 fucking years ago

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 13:46, closed)

Tailors.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 17:55, closed)

Yeah!
What a bunch of flowers!
(shitposter from the anals of posteriority on, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 14:34, closed)

Your bananas

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 21 Jul 2015, 14:54, closed)

Don't they have competitions for this shiznit in Japan?
I seem to remember they have a large number of increasingly obscure collective modifiers for things.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 15:13, closed)

Saying a bunch of pens, work, or people
has nothing to do with collective nouns. It's just taking up the American English usage of bunch as a determiner in the same way lot is used in British English. Saying a murder of crows gives the idea that the crows exist as a unit. Saying a bunch of crows gives the idea that there are many of them. If anything British people starting to use the word bunch as a determiner has enriched the language: it adds bunch to the list of determiners at our disposal.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 17:12, closed)

There is bare crows, bruv. Ya get me?

(Go Man River everybody loves anal, Tue 21 Jul 2015, 17:17, closed)

I hate you a bunch.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 22 Jul 2015, 9:50, closed)

Just adding to the bunch of replies, here.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 21 Jul 2015, 19:14, closed)

A Wunch of Bankers

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 7:52, closed)

This wasn't even funny the first time you posted it.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 9:45, closed)

but constantly reposting someone else's "alright" schtick is HILARIOUS?
mmm-kay.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 10:47, closed)

alright

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 11:12, closed)

alright

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 11:15, closed)

alright

(Go Man River everybody loves anal, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 11:18, closed)

alright

(Go Man River everybody loves anal, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 11:18, closed)

alright

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 21:42, closed)

alright

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 11:15, closed)

yes
the hilarity is strong in this one.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 11:21, closed)

Yer, there's a whole bunch of it.

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Wed 22 Jul 2015, 13:54, closed)

alright

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 21:42, closed)

alright

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 21:42, closed)

a slab of tyskie

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 7:55, closed)

a windowlick
of mongs
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 10:21, closed)

alright

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 21:43, closed)

alright

(Go Man River everybody loves anal, Thu 23 Jul 2015, 11:26, closed)

an internet of spastics

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 10:40, closed)

alright emvee

(Go Man River everybody loves anal, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 11:18, closed)

alright

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 11:50, closed)

alright

(Go Man River everybody loves anal, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 13:28, closed)

There's loads here
Knock yourself out
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 22 Jul 2015, 13:48, closed)