Cockney violence up north
Was leaving the local with a few mates and happened upon a cockney fellah who was giving his girlfriend loads and loads of shit. None of our business mind, but he then started pushing her and slammed her against a wall.

My mate Keith (again) hates violence to women (and also cockneys cos he's a tad xenophobic)and shouted something along the lines of 'hey big man is that how you sort problems out down south or what?'... needless to say, the man was unimpressed and started walking towards us glaring and wild eyed.
We almost laughed when he shouted 'you fackin norvan wankers, I'll fackin have you all!' (there were five of us)... so we stood back as Keith calmly dodged a few of this guys punches and then keith punched him solidly in his nose. The guy walked off with his girlfriend round the corner for a few seconds... and then - they both came running back at us. Yes! The cockney and his 'bird'...

We couldn't do anything but laugh as they both started screeching and wailing and flailing at us (yes all five of us)... there was little we could do but avoid hitting them (I mean five against two?).So,we had no choice but to walk away laughing.

But, that's what you get for trying to help.
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Wed 21 Jun 2006, 13:45, Reply)