Close enough
Picture the scene, a somewhat shy 8 year old having to do the reading for the Christmas service in my Gran's church. Gran made sure that all her friends were there and all the rest of the family that she could muster up.

We had been practising at Sunday school for the last two weeks and my reading was sounding very impressive. Anyway the day arrives and I am in the back of the church, bible in hand, frantically practising my words, all of a sudden a local kid tells me that I could not use the bible on stage and that I had to memorize the words.

Panic sets in. I start reading over and over again out loud, never thinking to question this nasty knowitall.

I get up to the Pulpit. My heart beating about as fast as it was the first time I saw my first girlfriend naked.

I say the first line and goes off as smoothly as I rehearsed it. Audience waiting with baited breath. Gran with a proud smile, gesticulating to everybody that there was her favourite grandson.

However that is the only line stuck in my head. I say it again and again after about the fourth time, everybody in the congregation starts laughing.
I was mortified, I freeze, say the line once more this time, voice noticibly quivering. I burst into tears and ran off the stage.

I then proceeded to hide where no one can find me and refuse to come out until the end of the service, when I was asked by the minister or teacher why I didn't take my bible with me.

Surely for that he must be going to Hull.
(justim, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 9:19, Reply)