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This is a question Near Death Experiences II

Freddie Woo says: I was once caught right in the middle of in an early morning high-speed 30-car pile-up on the M3, but emerged from the chaos in the only car not to have suffered a dent. My trousers told a different story, and learned that you *do* empty your bowels as Death's icy grip reaches out for you. Tell us about your audition for the Final Destination films.

Suggested by Just a Vagabond

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 15 May 2014, 12:55)
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you know i love you, you batshit attention-seeking slapper.
but this is utter, utter bollocks.
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 21 May 2014, 18:35, 2 replies)
it used to be the standard bullshit tale of cadets and OTC bores
but I'm sure it deffo happened to her ex-oswald
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 21 May 2014, 18:43, closed)
It might have done, It IS an old standard like you say.
But given the sheer fucking incompetence of quite lot of Ruperts combined with the mentality of armourers when it comes to requisition forms, it's pretty much bound to have happened for real at least once.
I remember Mark Thomas doing a bit on one of his shows a while back where he'd got a FOI request actually answered, that said that something like 70% of serving frontline infantrymen at that time couldn't even pass basic marksmanship.
I still remember RAF air trafficers on my first Falklands tour whinging before an exercise because the armourers had told them that they'd have to clean their weapons themselves. "But none of us have done anything like that since basic".
:/
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Wed 21 May 2014, 19:22, closed)
We had a STAB deployed with us
Not only had he not done any radio procedure, so useless for signals, he knew nothing about his rifle either how to shoot or maintain it.
We felt sorry for him as some biff up the ladder had okay'd his deployment.
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Thu 22 May 2014, 10:58, closed)
These were full-timers.
A few years back I knew an Air Traffic Controller who had to be taught radio procedure on deployment because "But I'm DSATCO back home, I NEVER have to actually control".
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 22 May 2014, 11:04, closed)
well, i can swear on my all important snugglesacks that he told me it happened and that i believed him
whether i was dipshit thick to do so is another story.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 21 May 2014, 19:06, closed)
I think it important that you "defend" this story.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 22 May 2014, 0:30, closed)
oh god
how do i go about doing that? i get so confused about who's supposed to be trolling whom.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 May 2014, 8:17, closed)
I think you just need to end a post with 'cheers'

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:32, closed)
It's a good thing that you're here to "remind" us about Legless.
Abuse of quote marks is fun.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 22 May 2014, 9:42, closed)
has he left forever alwez in are harts?

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 22 May 2014, 10:34, closed)
Who knows?
Who "cares"?
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 22 May 2014, 10:44, closed)
but he was always such easy going 'fun' and had so many 'hilarious' 'anecdotes'
ch'ee'rs
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 22 May 2014, 11:11, closed)
Stop it,
you're "making" me cry.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 22 May 2014, 13:00, closed)

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