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This is a question My Arch-nemesis

I lived in fear of a Darth Vader-esque school dinner lady who stood me perpetually at the naughty table for refusing to eat mushy peas. An ordeal made worse after I was caught spooning the accursed veg into her wellies. Who, we ask, has wrecked your life?

Thanks to Philly G for the suggestion

(, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 12:01)
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I was his patent nemesis
There is a laboratory in another city where Professor B. F. X. did research. Prof. B. F. X. developed a method of purifying a particular substance and applied for a patent. His invention mostly consisted of three steps, A, B and C, then applying a measurement of the result. Application was detection of a rare medical condition. Routine.

I ran a search in the usual way and ordered full copies of the scientific papers published earlier. Some of them used steps A and B, others used steps A and C, and others used steps B and C. Nobody used all three, but they did have enough purification to give some details of the substance. Clearly enough Prof. B. F. X.'s invention wasn't really very inventive. There were about ten people in the world working on this and it was clear from the earlier publications that he knew all of them and they knew him.

One of the scientific papers failed to arrive. It had been written by Prof. B. F. X. and published less than a year before the patent application, but more than the six months allowed for "demonstrations before a learned society". There was only one copy of it in the country and can you guess where that copy was supposed to be? The bucking fastard had removed it from the library in his lab. so I could not be sent a copy.

As a patent examiner, I'm pretty easy going. But this bloke got the book thrown at him. I have not done it before or since. I left the final reports to the absolute last minute, and slammed him with everything I could think of. That was just in the preliminary, international stages.

Someone took the case over from me and she did the same. Then after a year or more I got it back. I objected to everything I could see, eventually the case ran out of time and he had to apply again.

By this time almost four years had passed. He had just short of two years from then to get my acceptance. Two days before the time ran out again, his attorney (whom I personally knew) was on the phone to me for about 90 minutes trying to get the thing through. After some time he suggested a form of claim that left Prof. Bucking Fastard X with bugger all and I said OK. In all, almost six years before he got his patent and then it was nearly worthless.

Moral. If you are going to try to snow patent examiners, don't be so bleeding obvious about it. We're a picky and suspicious bunch and you are definitely not the first to try it.
(, Mon 3 May 2010, 12:56, 1 reply)
Serves the silly Fucker right
I'm not a patent examiner, but I have to routine check paperwork coming in from subcontractors. I'm easygoing and if there is an error, I'll just phone and say, this needs changing, get it done and email me the paperwork, and we'll say no more. If they then BS me and try to wheedle out of it..... They're toast
(, Mon 3 May 2010, 17:41, closed)

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