missed opportunity
So there's this really fat, arrogant guy i know who nobody likes, actually everyone hates him. he goes by the name Big Gay Al - 'cos he's big, he's gay (tho still in his massively oversized closet) and his name is Alex. So me, a load of mates and alex r all at our end of year uni ball. its a posh do - suits and black ties all round. Im fairly drunk, as are quite a few of the others, as i go about my rubik's cube dancing the fat twunt randomly waddles up to me and peanuts my brand new tie round my favourite shirt and my favourite neck! bastard! (theres a pic of me taken moments after he's done it and the red mist has descended like an impenetrable fog of hatred and rage.) Im a fairly fickle drunk - i have the ability to flip from regular to blinding anger then to a state of euphoric happiness in mere milliseconds. the state of euphoria was caused by me spotting a fiver on the floor between getting my tie nutted and the first punch landing(which, due to the fiver, it never did) fiverless though, it would have taken about 2.5 seconds to land it.

Thats my dance floor disaster - missing an opportunity to twat a twunt 'cos of a rogue fiver on the floor which killed my rage attack, and a short attention span. not a real disaster, but i would have loved to have landed at least one punch and take the podgy bastard down a peg or 2. damn money
(MrPokey, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 21:42, 8 replies)

You went to uni? Really?
Didn't do much for your spelling and grammar then...
( MatJ LOOK, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 22:18, closed)

Not doin much 4 urs either mate
Don't be so quick to judge, when u 2 r guilty of the same.

Matthew 7v1,3+5 Do not judge, or you too will be judged. Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

"I'm friends with all the barstaff and it's much quiter." - that was u, about 3 hours ago.
(MrPokey, Fri 10 Apr 2009, 1:29, closed)

A fundamental difference
He accidentally omitted one letter. Your posts, on the other hand, appear to have been typed by an epileptic in the throes of a grand mal seizure. Wearing mittens.

However, this scenario seems unlikely, so I'm going to have to go with the simpler hypothesis that you're just a gurning retard.
(oball needs Satan more than he needs me, Fri 10 Apr 2009, 4:20, closed)

wots actually wrong with my spelling?
aside from a few abbreviations (which everyone uses so is widely understood so no one bothers 2 mention it) and a few missed punctuation marks due 2 laziness its fine. and since wen did b3ta become as stringent on spelling as fuckin scripps!?
(MrPokey, Fri 10 Apr 2009, 13:02, closed)

I think
That on the abbreviations front, you have a slightly warped idea of the kind of forum you've gone and joined... B3ta has ALWAYS been hard on people who spell like retards.

(I also correct my posts when my mistakes are pointed out)
( MatJ LOOK, Sun 12 Apr 2009, 17:43, closed)

Hmm...
I haven't finished my university education yet, so maybe that's why I haven't got a clue what peanutting something involves. I'm sure it's very annoying when it happens to one's favourite neck though. That's why I always wear my second-best neck when I go out.

Is it a colloquialism? I am genuinely confused.
(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Fri 10 Apr 2009, 3:07, closed)

It's when one's Windsor knot
...is forced up as far as Slough
(Mousy Tongue ...Generally bemused by life..., Fri 10 Apr 2009, 4:37, closed)

..
Brilliant
(never-right -getting it wrong since '78, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 8:35, closed)