I'm only mildly involved in this one
Let's start with some background. I have 4 brothers, and one sister. This particular incident takes place about two years back, and features my eldest brother and me. My eldest brother is about 12 years older than me, and is the first alcoholic of the family, with me being the second. We also shared at one point a very similar taste in music. So we used to go to the same clubs, just not often at the same time.

One fine summery night, we're both out. Not together though. We've managed to arrange a night out in sunny Swindon, each with our own friends, had managed to plan to do the same clubs, just we approached them at different times. So we'd be with each other at times, but at different clubs at other times. We'd also chosen very different outfits. I was in a smart pair of dark jeans and a grey shirt, he was in khaki-coloured trousers and a black t-shirt with a distinctive red and white design on the front. The more observant among you will know where this is heading.

Come around midnight, I'm queuing up at this club in Swindon called The Furnace, having been drinking heavily all night. The Furnace is an alright place, caters for the "alternative" crowd, and is supposedly a metal club, but barely plays any metal. But its still better than most of the shitty dance music, so it used to be a hang-out of mine. And because my eldest brother had the same taste in music, he liked it too.

He was there too. With me.

For about 30 seconds, that is.

The reason for this short period of time will become shortly apparent, but for now, I'm going to cut to his POV, as he told me later/what I pieced together.

He'd gotten there earlier than I had, much earlier, and had been drinking too. He had also been drinking a lot of different things in many different places, including a few Guinness' in a pub or two. He felt the urge for a slash, and so, departed the dancefloor for the toilets. He managed to get to the toilets, which are right next to the front door, started to have a piss, and felt the urge for a fart.

He farted. It felt really uncomfortable. And sticky.

Cutting back to my POV quickly.

I'm stood in line. I see a man sprinting from the toilets, clad in only shitty boxers and a black t-shirt with red and white on the front. With shit smeared down the back of his legs. I start to laugh, and then my beer-fuddled brain realises something important. My laughter slowly trickles away.

Black t-shirt. With a distinctive design. Made of red material and white material.

I have, in essence, seen the aftermath of my brother shit himself in the bogs of a crap nightclub, and seen him running into the night.

When I spoke to him later, apparently the sinks were crap and barely worked, so he had to throw his trousers in a cubicle, and because he'd shat himself so badly, it trickled down into his shoes and he was forced to abandon those too.

Poor bastard. He lost his dignity and a good pair of shoes that night.
(Ghost Atreides enjoying incontestable health benefits on, Tue 14 Apr 2009, 20:46, Reply)