Morning! Wanking! Intrusion! Horror!
It was a bright sunny day. I'd woken mid-morning, as was my custom, and I thought I'd begin the day by relaxing in a gentleman's way and making the most of my natural morning glory.

I conjoured some filthy thoughts, and commenced. As I was approaching the point of no return, tongue hanging out of the corner of my mouth and peculiar expressions aplenty, my bedroom door burst open.

Standing there, open mouthed and shocked, were two of my housemates. Immediately I was struck by the horror of the situation; I wanted a hole to open up and swallow me (fnarr!). Fortunately though, I retained my presence of mind. Aware that if I showed my embarrassment my life would be made excruciatingly cringeworthy for months, I gave a cheery wave and said "Alright lads, just wanking myself frigid. You couldn't give us a minute could you?"
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Fri 10 Dec 2010, 11:30, 10 replies)

The correct response to this situation is
"Thank GOD you're here!!"

(c) Billy Connolly
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 10 Dec 2010, 11:43, closed)

I can't wait all day for AB, I'l have to do this myself...
So your story is; You were doing something and it looked like you were doing what you were doing and some people saw you doing it and recognised it clearly for what it was.

The whole thing just pisses on the graves of the people who invented qotw
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 10 Dec 2010, 11:56, closed)

it's still better than everything posted on the qotw last week

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 10 Dec 2010, 11:58, closed)

Well, better than the first 60% of the answers anyway...

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 10 Dec 2010, 12:21, closed)

The last couple pages
were full of NUTTY shenanigans.
(Turtlenuts, Fri 10 Dec 2010, 15:49, closed)

True
and you can't whack a good wanking story
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 10 Dec 2010, 12:36, closed)

I know it cant be,
but this post looks suspiciously like a story about something being exactly what it looked like.
(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Fri 10 Dec 2010, 11:56, closed)

"What have you done that, in retrospect, you'd really rather nobody had seen"
Selective reading, you see.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Fri 10 Dec 2010, 12:12, closed)

^ Frigid?
Surely wanking yourself rigid?
(SalRossi Laughter the best medicine? Nurse, penicillin....., Fri 10 Dec 2010, 17:18, closed)

If you stop when it's still rigid
you're doing it wrong.
(oball needs Satan more than he needs me, Sat 11 Dec 2010, 1:39, closed)