I AM a PE teacher*
The work is unbelievable - we have so many targets, rules and checklists:

1. In 'shirts vs. skins' pick the skins team by the number of fatties in the team.
2. If you're a male PE teacher make sure to have an unhealthy interest in ensuring the boys shower thoroughly; female teachers take the butch girls for 'extra' tennis lessons.
3. If anyone brings a note to say they are ill/cannot do PE for any reason, make sure they have to stand out and watch everyone else and are treated like vermin.
4. Kids can be pretty insecure about their bodies; exploit this - it will harden them up in later life and they'll forget all about it.
5. Most kids are shit at PE. Let the kids who are good at sport do something interesting while saving the tarmac hockey/softball/cross country for the spazzes.
6. Hardly anyone can climb a rope - make sure that everyone learns that only THEY are failures at this.
7. The big, nice, well equipped gym hall is ONLY TO BE USED IN SUMMER. Cross country is an easy 40 minutes off and saves heating bills.
8. Drama and dance: When you truly hate the little bastards have them shoeless and dancing round like fairies - fucking hilarious.
9. Gymnastics - ever seen a roly-poly do a roly-poly?
10. Swimming lessons - chucking a brick in and watching them fetch it is fun but shouldn't be substituted for 30 minutes of treading water - that's where the real betting action is.




*Not really.
(prescottsflu infected you at, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 13:53, Reply)