It really pisses me off
How the QOTW seems to die at about 4pm every Wednesday.

People on here seem like such a bunch of wankers sometimes.

EDIT: This was a joke...
( Cawl, Wed 7 May 2008, 14:50, 15 replies)

Ninjas
Fucking everywhere these days. Just the other day I was at my mate Daves house for a smoke and on the walk home they followed me the whole way. Running and ducking behind cars, sleuthing behind trees and just being generally invisible. It's really starting to piss me off.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Wed 7 May 2008, 14:39, 2 replies)

spimf
awaits flaming
(twiceydrinker hmmm is it pint time?, Wed 7 May 2008, 14:38, 15 replies)

More transport-related whinges
Car drivers who haven't learnt or don't care about the Highway Codes rules to protect cyclists, and also fellow cyclists who moan when you disobey the rules in order to stay safe. For instance:

Cyclists may stay in the left hand lane when turning right at a roundabout because it's safer. Yeah right, till some fuktard thinks you're turning left and mows you down. I have also tried getting in the right hand lane, but car drivers think it's funny to squeeze past you on the right. So I occupy the middle of the lane and live with the horn blasts in order to stay safe, or i get off and walk round the roundabout. Neither of these tactics go down well with my fellow cyclists but it's far less dangerous so stuff em.

People complain when I ride around traffic lights, or get off and walk round them. But then transport planners don't take cyclists into account when timing the phases, so that there's sometimes not enough time for me to get through the junction/crossroads/narrow bridge/roadworks before the lights change again and I get mown down by cars from the other direction.

Fukkers that don't give me enough room really get on my t1ts too.

Or little old men on touring bikes cheerfully greeting me as they overtake me on huge hills that I am forced to get off and walk up. Nobody likes a showoff.

Thanks
(biscuitsocks random gene expression, Wed 7 May 2008, 14:38, 3 replies)

Football
This will probably force me to incur the wrath of hundreds of football fans but I have to say I hate the game with a passion.

I cannot stand the endless punditry, meaningless conversation, tv coverage and reporting in this country’s media. Often at the expense of what I regard to be much more important/interesting news.

The fans are hostile compared to other sports, the amount of money involved is disgusting and at best our national team is average.

The game has long since lost any form of sportsmanship or sporting endeavour. While I appreciate the game can involve considerable skill, this mostly seems lost amidst the diving and melodramatics.

Even the fact that I'm now in fear of pissing off absolutely everybody with this post makes me angry.

Rant over. Best get my coat.
(Errorist, Wed 7 May 2008, 14:36, 20 replies)

Round 2 *ding ding*
Ok more pet peeves!

Being told I am "full of right wing bollocks" by people so blind sighted by "PCness" and "equal opportunities" because I fully believe that

* Murderers/rapists & paedophiles should get the death sentence
* Prisoners should not be entitled to human rights if innocent people in the third world don't get any
* Prisons should be be scary ass places and rehabilitation should be mainly under the guise of "do it again and we start chopping bits off"
* the money we save by killing off the murderers/rapists and paedophiles would be better spent on the education and health systems. Also don't tell me I am "wrong" because I think like this. They are my opinions if you want to have an adult discussion then fine, but the liberal fuckwits who call me a nazi will be getting a punch in the face. If they are lucky.

I also get annoyed when women insist they are "Chairwomen" or "Chair" it's chairman and in every report those people sent me I changed it back before I sent it out. The same applies for every other job where it says "job-man" and they try make it postwoman or milkwoman. Those words come up underlined in red for a reason so get over it. Also the really hardcore crowd who go for "huwomankind" and "womankind" referring to all of society as opposed to just the double X's. Get over it, you are not going to get equal treatment because you call yourselves that. If you are lucky you may get a punch in the face.

People who are too liberal and believe everyone deserves a fair deal regardless of how many people they have slaughtered is why the country is going down the shitter, and the other people who are too concerned with making up new words to try and assert equality are even worse.

In the same vein of pet peeves but was covered enough in the kids topic, is people who cave to society dictating that they need to get married and have kids even when they don't want to, or marry the first person that comes along and ultimately ends up divorcing. These are the people who moaned a lot before they were married on how "you" (general populace) have to get married and have kids before you are [insert age here] and how unfair it is that all their friends are married and knocked up. Then they get married and knocked up, become alcoholic muppets whose kids end up in and out of the prisons because to them it's like free food and board.

Oh and as a small afterthought, friends who don't give you support. These people are swiftly moved into the ex-friend pile. Seriously if I want to write a book then support me don't say it will never happen, even if the odds are tiny that it will ever get published, be a fucking friend and offer to proofread it. Oh and if you are then going to cry because the next time you say you are going to do something and I turn round and pick it to bits I reserve the right to punch you in the face.

ok I'm done now....
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 7 May 2008, 14:33, 13 replies)

www.break.com
The descriptions on the videos are so incorrect that it's painful.

Peeves me a little..
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Wed 7 May 2008, 14:31, 1 reply)

I thought my spleen was empty, then I gave it a squeeze and out came.....
....people who walk into my room, see what I'm watching on TV and decide to tell me what they think about it.

I don't care, it's on because I like it. You don't like it, don't watch my TV. Cunt.
(UncleChuckles "Cthulhu fhtagn", Wed 7 May 2008, 14:31, Reply)

Flicking cigarette butts
Smokers seem to think it's acceptable to just flick their cigarette butts away from them when they're done smoking. Christ, if it were my dropping sweet wrappers instead, they'd be up in arms. I'm fuming (hur hur).
(JohabMorelli is spenging merrily away, Wed 7 May 2008, 14:31, 1 reply)

ignorance
10 years ago on my travels to NZ I stopped in L.A. for a couple of nights. At the time I was with my ex who is a Kiwi. We were minding our own business when two fat Americans asked where we were from, to which I replied London and my ex replied New Zealand. To my astonishment, one of them said "Oh yeah, we know where you mean, England is there (pointing upwards) and NZ is just below (pointing downwards)". To top it all off they asked why my accent was so different to my ex's!!!!! Bloody ignorance of the world around us and other cultures drives me mad!!
( lafleur likes cheese, Wed 7 May 2008, 14:26, Reply)

talk board
cliquey twats.
(papa bouba slap your face, Wed 7 May 2008, 14:21, 9 replies)

litterbugs
I cant fucking stand these filthy, rotten arseholes who just chuck litter on pavements, grass verges or anywhere. I think quite possibly the worst types are those who empty their cars of plastic packaging etc, straight out of the window in transit. fucking scum. whats wrong with waiting until you get home and then putting it were its supposed to be, not on the streets or in the countryside making the whole fucking place look like an eye-sore. Then there are those who throw litter on the ground whilst walking and there is a bin 50 yards away. For fucks sake. you really couldn't bare to hold on for another 2 minutes and put it in the bin???

Obviously these people have no respect for themselves and others and dont mind one little bit living in their own shit. They should be ashamed of themselves. I get sick and fucking tired seeing plastic and paper all over the fucking place. I think London is quite possibly is the filthiest city in Europe, from what ive seen. Roundabouts are simply covered in fast food containers with discarded "food" inside and probably as a result, huge colonies of rats nearby. I saw a HUGE rat the other day, i mean HUGE. The size you see in SE Asia. Happily going about its business, spraying its disease ridden piss everywhere. How fucking wonderful.

If you're one of these people who simply dont care about slinging crap all over the place, you're no worse than a stinking chav, please reconsider in future. Many thanks.



P.S. The constant use of expletives are useful for getting my anger across to the reader. I hope the reader is not as offended about this as i am about the filthy cunts who litter all the time. Who's with me???
(paradox75, Wed 7 May 2008, 14:19, 2 replies)

People with no perspective
Sweet baby jesus and the orphans, as if mortality/illness/war/famine etc isn't enough to worry about, I'm going to spend what precious time I have in this realm whinging about people putting knives in the spoon drawer.

Grow up.

**edited for spelling, smartarse**
(Udidin is chuffed to have made the newsletter, Wed 7 May 2008, 14:19, 2 replies)

and, like, another thing:
I, like hate it when like people, right, like add the word like after like, every other fcuking word in their sentence. I like, also, like hate it when people say,

"I was like, no way. And she was like duh! And I was like (!) no way!"

It makes me like, want to beat them to death with an Oxford English Dictionary.

Or something.
(toomanydecibels has bleeding ears on, Wed 7 May 2008, 14:15, 1 reply)

well
apart from the obvious (chavs, BMW drivers, white van men, stupid people, political correctness etc)

people who use my things to cook with and dont wash them, im in my 4th year of university (thankfully the last) and im sick to my back teeth of it (even putting all my stuff out of sight in my cupboard doesnt work)

people who nick my milk also. last week someone used my milk then watered it down in the hopes that i wouldnt notice, i did

the fact that i dont have the internet at home any more because it was too much trouble for my house mates to arrange for it to be cancelled when we move out rather than after 12 months

the idiot who keeps putting my cooking pot in the cupboard under the sink when ever i leave it out to soak, since it means that i will forget it need cleaning and one of two things happens either it is now full of a mix of stagnant water and mouldy food which makes cleaning it unpleasant or he tips the water out firs which means i have a choice between leaving it to soak again or spending a quarter of an hour scrubbing

my house mate, ass (yes thats what he insists on being called) leaves hair everywhere, its impossible to put my clothes through the wash without them coming out covered in them and dont get me started on the amount of it he leaves in the bathroom without ever cleaning up

apple fanboys, the majority i meet are the types that got an apple laptop for word processing and to look trendy, will go on about how superior to pcs they are despite the fact that they know less about pcs than my mum

those retarded mitchell and webb apple adverts

tv shows with mitchell and webb in, they are not funny (oddly though when david mitchell appears on his own on a tv show e.g QI he is funny) also on the unfunny list:

jimmy carr,jo brand russel brand and ricky gervais

the fact that the library at my university is never quiet enough to concentrate (the main culprits for this are groups foreign students who sit around one computer rambling on and on)
( Reme Philips laid an epic dump on, Wed 7 May 2008, 14:11, Reply)

Nigger!
.
This really fucks me off. People, especially black people, who call each other nigger.

Whenever I hear it, the hairs on my neck start to rise.

I've been indoctrinated for 40 years not to use the word, not to think the word, and to understand why this word is bad. I couldn't, ever, call one of my black mates nigger - and if I did, I would expect to be punched.

So come on kiddies - when is it acceptable to use nigger these days?

This whole attitude is causing me lots of confusion, here in OZ, where casual racism seems to be the norm, a black is an aboriginal , a wog is Greek, and African is what we would call black.

But I've never heard anyone call another a nigger.....

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Wed 7 May 2008, 14:07, 10 replies)

Nothing really bothers me really, apart from stupidity these days
However, I do sometimes wonder why people complain at other posters such a lot. Fair enough, I'll poke people for grammar, but that's mainly because they have a bad attitude (I'm looking at you, conzo21) and frankly deserve it. However, it makes my mind boggle that people will take against the use of the reply button to have conversations across qotw. That's what it was designed for, so the main page would not get cluttered. Yet still people complain. A simple tip- please do master the use of the ignore button, or just skip over it, and you will find your blood pressure dropping several points, I guarantee it. I now leave the reply button open for the use of bert, al, kaol, chcb et al to do whatever the heck they want with it.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 7 May 2008, 14:05, 15 replies)

Hair
I have long hair and this invokes one of two assumptions:

1. I must be gay.
Yes, in this day and age there are still some people (even in the UK) who believe that I must be trying to emulate women (despite my beard) -- which no self-respecting manly man would do, of course -- so I must be a raging ass-bandit, ready and eager to rape their young (as they probably are themselves).

2. I must play the guitar, or at least be a metalhead.
No, I don't play the fucking guitar, and, no, I don't listen to metal or rock (anymore). No, I don't want to talk to you about Black Sabbath. Or Iron Maiden. Or Bon Jovi. (Or Queen, when the two assumptions collide.) As a matter of fact, I probably don't want to talk to you at all, especially not about anything relating to guitars or music.

I have never felt like making conversation about other people's follicle habits, so why do others feel compelled to make conversation about mine? I do not understand this at all.
(quimbayah, Wed 7 May 2008, 14:02, 2 replies)

ths rlly fx me off
y shld i try 2 dcyfer ur stpd fckng txt spk in Emls or web posts whn u can speed up my reading the msg by typing like a literate adult...

especially when you have a full sized, fully operational qwerty keyboard in front of you?

Offenders: you look like a retards. Fact.
(toomanydecibels has bleeding ears on, Wed 7 May 2008, 14:02, 3 replies)

'Have Your Say' type things
Namely the BBCs HYS (full of racists), The Daily Mirror readers forum (full of racists) and The Sun readers forum (full of racists).

Although saying that, it does make me feel like a better person when I read some of the twat-brained excretia that the white van drivers spew out on these (probably typing with one finger).

Obviously b3ta QOTW doesn't count :)
(Big Smurf Brush me daddy-O, Wed 7 May 2008, 13:56, 5 replies)

Every time 'Showbiz News' comes on the TV
it makes me want to rip the presenters' faces off, deep-fry them, soak them in acid and then superglue them back on.

Who gives a flying fuck about Amy Cunting Winehouse's crack habit, or that Lilly Allen has just lost her hellspawn to a miscarriage? Why would I care? What makes them think I'm even remotely interested? It doesn't affect me, does it? My ex-girlfriend also lost her child to a miscarriage. Why didn't that make it onto the TV?

Molest my cathode ray tube with this shite again and feel my sword.
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Wed 7 May 2008, 13:51, 2 replies)

Oooooh! - Get Him!!
.
OK, let's get my own prejudices out of the way before I start ripping into someone else's. I can't stand camp gay men. I want to punch them. I feel the same way about them as I do about girly girls. (Actually, that's not true. With girly girls I want to kick them in the cunt but you get the idea...)

Anyway. What really annoys me is the still existing prejudices about gays.

"He rides a scooter, he must be gay"

"He moisturises - he must be gay"

"He wears pink shirts - he must be gay" (might have a point there actually.)

I've met quite a few blokes who I had no idea they were gay. They looked normal, spoke normally, liked football, one was a bouncer and , if they hadn't told me that they liked the cock, I would have no idea they were gay.

Being gay is just another sexual kink. It's what they prefer (like others like big knockers, BSDM, skinny girls (blerggh) etc). It doesn't define you as a person - it's only one small part of who you are.

These days I treat people as I find them. If they act like a dickhead or, I've nothing in common with them, I avoid their company. Their sexuality doesn't enter into it.

Try it folks. Just because someone is gay doesn't mean they want to shag you. They can make really good mates.

Cheers

secure in his sexuality.


( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Wed 7 May 2008, 13:48, 8 replies)

Quiz shows
In the old days a quiz show would go like this:

You have 60 seconds (or whatever) to answer questions on a particular topic. Easy. Clock starts - people answer questions, correctly or incorrectly, until their time runs out.

Now, thanks to shows like Millionaire and Eggheads, it's all multiple choice questions with no time limit, leading to exchanges like this:

- Contestant: I think it's A. It's definitely not B, and I don't think it's C. I suppose it might be D, but I don't think so. No, it's A.

- Host: Are you sure?

- C: Yes, A.

- H: Positive?

- C: Yes.

- H: Sure it's not D?

- C: Yes.

- H: So you're going for A?

- C: Yes, it's definitely A.

- H: Final answer?

- C: Yes, Final answer.

- H: Are you sure?

- C: Yes. Or is it D?

ARRRGGHHHH! SHUT THE FUCK UP AND ANSWER THE FUCKING QUESTION!
(MrC. Having the most boring username on b3ta since 2004, Wed 7 May 2008, 13:46, 3 replies)

probably been done
People in shops asking "Can I help you?" Help me to do what? Help me to look through the merchandise? Help me to choose a book based on a lifetime of varying tastes? Help me to make up my mind on a gift for someone they don't know? Help me to read the first page of a book to see if I like it?

And the liars. "Don't worry - those shoes will stretch 4 sizes... this £2 Casio calculator is just the thing for your physics PhD... ZZ Top is like Enrique Iglesias, madam..." A shop assistant told my wife last week: "It says polyester on the label, but it's silk. They have to say polyester because of the chemical process they use."

And you know, I believe every word they say. After all, they must be richly endowed with eons of wisdom and expertise working IN A FUCKING SHOP!
(frankspencer, Wed 7 May 2008, 13:39, 3 replies)

Just reminded of another
The BBC TV news. Very specific again, but why in the name of all that's graphically challenged do they insist on pissing around with the bullet points to support their reports? E.g. a story about education: we are treated to a backdrop of a classroom scene with a blackboard (as if!) and all the bullets come up written like chalk across the blackboard, while the presenter smugly 'watches' the words appear - though we know s/he can't see them behind them.

We're not children! All you are doing is losing the whole point of the item (to me anyway) as I can't see past the steam coming out of my ears.

Oh yeah, and while we're at it, why interupt programmes you're listening to on, say, Radio 4, to say "This is Radio 4, and you're listening to Front Row" - I know!!

Oh yeah, and also, those bloody shows on the telly like 'Masterchef' - the whole show is taken up with "Coming up on Masterchef...." or "Earlier on Masterchef we saw...." and "Tomorrow the teams have to..." You don't have ads, I can watch a programme for 30 minutes, I don't have the memory of a goldfish (I know, I know) - just show the programme from the beginning, go through to the end, oh, and if you can't manage to hold the flipping camera steady GET ANOTHER JOB.

Phew.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Wed 7 May 2008, 13:36, Reply)

Grr!
I hate people who have sex with midgets that have learning difficulies.

It's not big and it's not clever!
(mon bison powered by magnets, Wed 7 May 2008, 13:35, 1 reply)

Adverts
That TELL you to do things, 'Buy Now!', 'See this movie!', 'Eat this food!' and so on.

I want to scream at the TV, and tell them no, I won't buy your shitty product, if you had asked nicely I might have considered it, but you're being a cunt.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 7 May 2008, 13:33, 1 reply)

Peeves - a SportsCow TM rant
Having sat and read through many a peeve/rant I now feel compelled to contribute my own

My dog. Maddie (bless her!) is getting on a bit and has dodgy knees. However, being a great big softie she refuses to sleep downstairs and instead drags herself upstairs when I go off to bed. Normal service for this is:

Maddie (ignores)
MAddie (ignores)
MADDie (ignores)
MADDIE! (stands up and snorts at me)

Maddie (gets halfway through living room door then stops, meaning I cannot shut said door)

Maddie (moves a bit further, door bangs on dog-arse)

Maddie (points to stairs - no response)

Maddie (walks to base of stairs, looks up, then walks past)

MADDIE! (dog-harrumph then starts tortuous journey upstairs. Stops at stop sideways, blocking stairs)

Maddie! (dog-harrumph II - moves slightly allowing access to bedroom)

This happens every night! WHY!?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 7 May 2008, 13:32, 2 replies)