"How odd... instead of being a bin man, you appear to be being a cunt."
"Little do you know, Mr Rubbish-Pickerupperer, but I am both highly vindictive and not at all busy today. And I happen to know that there is only a single road in and out of your depot.

So tell me, if your astonishingly underdeveloped brain is capable of figuring it out, what is there to stop me from waiting for you, stalking you, and subsequently engaging in a protracted campaign to ruin your life and that of your family, hmm?

Now, what was it you were talking about again?"
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 15:59, 1 reply)

^wouldn't say boo to a goose ^

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 17:24, closed)

Yeah I would...
...cuz I often say a lot of things to someone's face before it occurs to me they're much larger and punchier than I am.

I'm not saying I'd win a fight with a goose though; in fact, the last goose I fought was definitely the victor.

The fucker had taken a dislike to me from the other bank of the river; it jumped in and made a beeline for me, then clambered out on the near bank, raised its wings large and wide, chased me away from my lunch, then stood guard by it, hissing and honking at me.

Not wanting to get pecked, I attempted to retrieve the lunch by using a sturdy forked stick to gently but firmly push the gooses neck away, while I leaned in to grab the food, but some passing pensioners (who had not witnessed the bird's earlier aggression) berated me like I was some chav, beating on wildlife. This distraction afforded the goose good opportunity to dodge the stick and get a couple of pecks in.

I like to think of that goose as some kind of petty official.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 18:04, closed)