Freedom is sweet
I put off posting this for a bit but hopefully I can do so now without getting into a huffy, angry rant. It's a funny story now, armed as I am with the blessing of hindsight, but at the time I saw no hilarity in the situation.

With someone for a couple of years, blah blah blah, there eventually comes a point when you realize it either works or it doesn't. He refused to get a job ever but expected me to take him out for huge and expensive meals and coerced me into blowing all of my cash on video games, drugs, food, et cetera, and although I'd been trying to save to move out of my father's and get an apartment of my own, my saving's were rapidly depleted. I quickly saw how much he had learned from his family dynamic: his mother cooked and cleaned while his father sat and snapped his fingers for drinks. Relationships are sometimes modeled after the family dynamic and this was a case in point. I saw myself in the future, fat and ugly, a victim of domestic servitude. He did not support my various careers, ideas, habits, et cetera. So I decided it was time.

I wasn't childish, I was diplomatic. I explained why it wasn't working. I told him I needed time to myself, which he never let me have, and time with friends, who he always found a reason to hate and would try to pressure me to hate them too. He had a powerful hold on me, yes, and even did so after we had broken up. You see, I pulled the old "friends" line out of my pocket and actually meant it: I saw a potential for friendship, but he used it to follow me and stalk me. If I was talking to a member of the opposite sex, he'd put his arms around me and loudly suggest we go have sex. When I reminded him calmly that friends do not do that, he would claim that he had forgotten that we had broken up and would ask me when we were getting back together. It was impossible to find freedom. He was always at my house because he was friends with my roommate and would use that as a ruse to paw through my bedroom when I was not there. He knew where I worked and frequented the establishment often, sometimes good-natured and other times raging and screaming, trying to get me fired so I would have no money to support myself and be forced to move back in with him. After months of this I realized there was only one way out: I had sex with his best friend.

Heinous? Really? I didn't mean it. I really didn't. It happened out of the blue but after the fact I realized it was my magical, golden key for escape from his fat, sweaty clutches. When he found out what had happened he accused me of cheating on him and told all of our friends that I had done so, although we'd been broken up for four months by this point!!!! (As a side note, no harm was done to his best friend and he was actually the one who told him what happened, not me. It only worked to my advantage.) Many of my old friends will not talk to me because they think I am a rotten cheat. And I don't care. I know the truth and I'm just happy to be free.
(BrainSurgerysFun, Tue 10 Jun 2008, 23:33, 2 replies)

it pains me..
.. That a looser can even get a girlfriend being like that. Ive had a full time job since 16 years old, own a car and rent my own place. Ive always paid myself through life. Ive never once claimed benefits.
Yet, im single. Maybe i just wear the wrong deodrant or something.

Anyway well done for getting rid of the looser!
I did like your method :)
(Miggyman, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 11:58, closed)

I know EXACTLY how you feel!
I went through the same thing! Paying for his stuff when I wanted to save, not seeing my friends, being used, being stalked when I tried to break up with him, being guilted into doing whatever he wanted.
I didn't sleep with anyone to get rid of him though. A few close friends I had managed to keep through the years went and had a "talk" with him :D Woo!

I'm glad you are free too! *high five*
( Mellicious is made of candy, Wed 11 Jun 2008, 15:42, closed)