So so many....
1) Arrested for theft of condoms at 13: police found it hilarious and made many jokes about the fact they didn't come in "titchy"
2) Wrote off a car (mate's mums) into an OAP's living room at 16: 3 days to find me, but when they did they had a sense of humour about it, only pushing me downstairs once.
3) Tried to jump out of a taxi window to avoid paying fare at 19. Ended up surrounded by Asian black-cab drivers about to beat us when a police car saved us, and escorted us to a cashpoint. Ended up in the cells for a night when I told the wpc she'd be beautiful with a little surgery. But she was a biffer. Woke up the next day with a tattoo on my chest.
4) Drink Driving, 19: Was caught 200yds from home with a brakelight out, with a blood reading of 81 (max allowed is 80). Unfortunately not my car so book was thrown. 2yrs later ended up doing millenium security in Sheffield with the WPC that nicked me, and copped (hoho) off with her!
5) Gatecrasher raid, aged 20odd: had 200 pills on me. Stuck them in my pants as lights came on. Was very lucky to escape - very inefficient searching.
6)Arrested for theft from work (although innocent) - brutal interview, charges brought, then dropped when my manager confessed to borrowing cash out of the till on Thursdays to go dog racing with, then paying it back on Friday when paid. Stock check caught him unawares! I never even got an apology.
7) Creamfields: Off tits; photo exists of me wearing a policemans helmet cuddling a butch copper with a beard.
8) Arrested on way home from creamfields at a service station for humourously stealing a 3ft steel bin from the foyer, along with 3 teapots and 50 bags of sugar.
9) Driving home only to be stopped at gunpoint by an armed response unit, as my mate and I were in a car similar to one they were looking for. Wearing tights on our head thinking "Will we get pulled if we do this for a laugh?" was a perfect example of bad timing.
10) Police saw my friend and I breaking into a car (clumsily). It was ours, but they didn't know this. Rather than investigate this properly thay simply gave us a demonstration of how to get into a fiesta in 20 seconds.

Many more, but I don't want to make this any more unreadable. Also, for the sanctimonious wankers who insist on preaching about drink/drug driving: Of course it's wrong, but this is a fun website, not a place for warning people about how you disapprove of their behaviour. I hope you all get run over by drink/drug drivers, simply for being such twats.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Fri 23 Sep 2005, 11:33, Reply)