Officer takes the piss
The police have taken to checking licensed premises in my area, which basically means coming in, asking a few questions and making sure no one's too drunk.

The other month two officers came in, one an old hand and the other a new, wet behind the ears type. Officer Wet gets out his check list of questions and proceeds to go through them:

"Any problems tonight?"
"No officer"
"When are you open until?"
"Midnight"
"What's your capacity?"
"170"
"How many fire exits do you have"
"2"
"Where are they?"

This is where I'm caught in two minds. He's just walked in through one door and there's another right in front of him, and I'm weighing up if I can make a joke about how blind he is without getting in some kind of trouble. Luckily his colleague pipes up:

"Jesus Darren! And you want to be a detective?. "

Officer Wet stumbles through the last couple of questions going slightly red as Officer Old Hand and a handful of locals who have over heard the conversation stifle giggles.

Haven't seen the young copper since.
( monkeyboyalpha jumping on the bandwagon since, Sun 8 May 2011, 11:57, Reply)