Gay misgivings....
(Legless's story reminded me of this)

My friend Jason got engaged to a girl called Trudy, and at the time she was a student house-sharing with a group of lesbians. They were a nice bunch of lad-lasses and good drinking partners so we used to tag along with them to one of the gay clubs in Swansea, mainly for the booze but also because the club had less trouble than anywhere else in the town (too many little hard-on testosterone fueled spotty chav virgins for my liking).

Except one night, Jason and Trudy are in one of the corners "getting acquainted", and this big gay bloke walks up to them and shoves Jason.
"No fucking offense, but if I was in another club with my boyfriend, I'd be abused by others. Fuck off."
Jason's gob dropped a bit, until he caught up with himself.
"This club is for us, not your type." This guy is leaning over Jason, who's sitting down at this moment. A few other gayers have come over for a nose at this too. Jason stands up at this point, and is a few inches taller than the accuser and built like a brick shithouse. He stares down at him and says "Is it me doing the ridiculing? No. Now fuck off before I rip your face off and shove it up your ass." Cue the other viewers walking away carrying on with their business and this PC Gayer remaining a bit scared and avoiding Jason all night.

PS Was drunk in there on the same night, and was sitting at a table drinking a lot of beer. This barman comes up to collect all the empties and says to me "Oh, you know you, you've got lovely hair."
I slowly look up to see a young Curly Watts looking back at me, so I drunkenly start to grab the nearest empty. Jason sees this, legs it over before I do something completely twattish and says "Oih, hands off barman, he's mine." Curly eyes Jason up and down, says "Ohhhhhh" to himself and fucked off back to the bar.

PPS Same club; one of the singers from the group that gave us the legendary "MacDonalds, MacDonalds, Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut" song was in this club drinking away merrily. Whoop de doo. At the end of the night, a load of us were sharing a taxi back to the student house and he tagged along. As we were waiting for the taxi, this hetro couple leave the club together.
"You see her leaving with him?" says he.
"Aye.."
"I had her about 6 months ago."
"Oh well done, she's quite fit actually."
"Cheers. You see him with her?"
"Aye.."
"I had him 2 months ago."
I turn around to look at him slowly and say "Well that's just fucking greedy, that is. Not happy with having the blokes, you gotta steal the girls from us desperate too, you wanker."
Fucking wannabe celebs, eh? They want it all.

LENGTH GAG? Tis allowed on Sunday according to the Vicar.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Sun 25 Nov 2007, 7:37, Reply)