A Crafty Hand Shandy turned Nasty
Sex. We all do it. Well, those lucky enough to have partners I guess.. but nobody knows you like yourself so they say, especially when you are a young man exploring yourself intimately, and I found I was in the middle of nowhere, by myself, and feeling incredibly fucking horny, so much so, I thought I was gonna jizz in my pants just from watching pidgeons hump.

Fields as far as the eye could see.. well.. I wasn't hurting anybody, or deliberately exposing myself for a cheap thrill, besides, I wasn't wearing a mack and there were no bushes to fumble in whilst massaging my beef bayonet to anyone unfortunate to be passing by.

My cock had anticipated my next move before my brain had even come up with the idea, and was making a concerted effort to break free from the constraints of my pants and tear through my trousers like a terrier on heat. So there I stood in this field, fumbling with my flies like a nervous teenager...well, actually that's pretty fucking accurate.. knowing what I was doing was 'naughty' and the glorious new found feeling of shooting your man muck, it was on a par to watching an episode of He-man.

I had a quick look through the hedges to see if I could find a discarded copy of The Sun, to tug over page 3 when I hit jackpot ! A copy of Barely Legal 'Nuns Edition', a bit of water damage on the front, but there were still a few pages that were'nt stuck together! I thought my balls would explode there and then.

Seeing the Holiest of Holes spread wide does an amazing thing for a young man, something that you take with you to adulthood, and I found a Nun I liked, put the mag on the grass and literally tore my trousers down like my life depended on it.

Sister Margaret was a right fucking dirty bitch, you could tell by the 12" black dildo shoved up her ringpiece, it was all I could do not to cry out "Hail Mary" as I pounded my shaft hard and fast in the name of the Lord. My bobby's helmet was throbbing, and I could feel that it was time for the floodgates to open, spraying an endless stream of puppy cum all over her fabulous pert tits.

Just as I was about to 'Christen' the goodly Sister with both barrells locked and loaded, I faintly hear what appeared to be a 'bang', followed by a branch from the tree I am stood next to falling to the ground. I opened my eyes, and to my horror was a tractor further down the field, with a rather irate farmer, non too pleased by young men wanking over his crops. So much so, he took it upon himself to shoot at me.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING"! he screamed from 100ft or so away. Personally, I felt that it was pretty obvious, but rather than stick around to argue the point that my belt had snapped and my trousers fell around my ankles and that my cock was stung by nettles so I was rubbing it better.. I decided to run for my life.

Forgetting that my trousers were indeed around my ankles, I hit the ground like a sack of potatoes, almost snapping my stiff cock in the process.

I could hear the tractor rumbling closer, so I moved faster than I ever have in my life.. Did he really shoot that fucking thing at me? Unfortunately yes was the answer. OH SHIT, OH SHIT, OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT..
Continually echoed through my head as I ran towards the gate, and lept like a gazelle for freedom. Sadly, my belt was flapping in the breeze and as I made the jump..some little gremlin cunt decided it would be hilarious for the belt buckle to catch the gate, which in turn sent me cartwheeling over, cutting my head open and deading my leg.

Ignoring it all, I ran to a nearby wood, and hid until such time that I thought the coast was clear..about 2 hours.

It seems that the farmer stopped giving chase shortly after I bolted.. maybe he found the copy of Barely Legal, and decided to crack one off himself..who knows. I had escaped, and more importantly unrecognized.

Until that is when I picked up the local rag, and saw the front page, the headline read "Local Lad in Lewd Crop Shocker". Apparently police were appealing for witnesses.
(TheRiddler Hmmmmm... I concur., Tue 28 Apr 2009, 10:35, 1 reply)

Nice
Particularly the pondered explanation *click*
( chart cat has an itch, Tue 28 Apr 2009, 11:08, closed)